criticalcapture | My Happy Home Is For You (for k

For:

k_popped
From: Anonymous until reveals

Title: My Happy Home Is For You
Rating: PG-13
Side Pairing/s: minor!Chanyeol/Kai
Length: 22000 words
Summary: A life of Prince Jongdae, who get to meet Crown Prince Joonmyun, which happened to be the older brother of Prince Jongin, the intended husband.
Warnings: slight gory

Notes: I’m sorry for the lack of beta in my story, and I think the prompter might want this to turn out to be funny but I don’t fancy that sort of writing, I’m bad at it, so I tweaked it a bit – hope you don’t mind :) Anyway it’s been a wonderful journey to finish this huge chunk of words.

“Please call Prince Jongdae and Crown Prince later for meeting,” King Jongwoon told Baekhyun as the young boy stopped by the study chamber, delivering several scrolls.
“They need to learn something tonight?” Yoochun commented, looking over a piece of document with a keen of interest. Apparently he wasn’t anticipating for an answer.
Jongwoon smiled at the companion, “You are dismissed.” Several pauses later he turned himself around and waited for the two royal family members to acknowledge this. “I think I’m ready for the change.”
Yunho glanced between the King and Yoochun simultaneously, puzzled. He remained silent until Yoochun decided to slip unnecessary remark. “So? My dear brother-in-law Jongwoon you need to explain further. I’m not guessing your next move.”
Quite fumed, Yunho threw a rather heavy scroll to the audacious royal member. “He wants to marry off the princes that what is, foolish.”
And Jongwoon chuckled softly at the interaction. Though the moment they were looking at him, he thinned out his lips appearing to be serious. “Yes that is, thank you Minister Yunho.”
“Oh, please cut the Minister crap, Jongwoon.” Yoochun shrieked.

Living in a glamorous place like Daejeon Grand Palace wasn’t the best adventure he ever had but the juicy gossip was literary the standard staple Baekhyun consumed off over the years. He stood outside the chamber close and long enough before leaving the spot completely, a grin threatened to split his face.
“Do you mind if you stop grinning like a silly madman for once?”
“You should mind your manners, Prince.” Baekhyun continued, grinning still like a goofy clown. “No, I can’t, Jongdae. I’m happy,”

“I can see that,” though Jongdae opted rolling his eyes to the high ceiling, he returned to his thick book on the table. If Baekhyun decided to play, he couldn’t care less about that. As long as he’s befriending with the older boy, not even an ounce of sarcasm could emphasize the point of Baekhyun should stop exaggerating.

“Really, I’m happy! I’m going to meet your prince charming!”

Snickering uncharacteristically, Jongdae gave up, “Just who is my prince charming?” The older boy was wiggling his eyebrows, trying to tease and nerve him to the edge yet the prince wasn’t about to give any response, if that what was Baekhyun suggesting him to do.

Waiting impatiently for the boy to calm whatever-he’s-been-doing down as Jongdae played with the length of his garment, the prince attempted to be decent. “What did my father say?”

“Oh damn – Sorry, for that.” Because this wasn’t the first time the older boy was being excited for whatsoever reason they were, Jongdae just smiled wryly. “The King wants you and the Crown Prince companion for the meeting.”
“Again?” That wasn’t a slipped of tongue. The economic growth was the only concern he developed over the years, and each and every single time his father included him in a meeting, the strategic diplomacy was the royal family members ever talked about. “Does my brother know?”
Baekhyun shamelessly shook his head.
Jonghyun the intended heir of Daejeon was a big hotshot and beloved inheritor as he was gifted with deep-rooted attentiveness of every human being on the Earth. Hence he was every girl’s fantasy. Even the chambermaids would giggle every so often every time the crown prince passed by the corridor, not to mention if his brother’s mood was good he would never fail to greet them politely. He rarely got mad for no apparent reason.
The King and the royal family were preparing the crown prince but they should know not to include Jongdae to the meeting frequently. He was getting sick with the military exceptionally hard jargon. His mind spun around the axis as he remembered once he was sixteen, his father said something black on water and it took almost a month to understand ‘black’ was like an adjective, which was equal to decrement resource. There was a point where he raised his hand in frustration during the meeting – though he tried to be discreet – as he encountered the new terms like ‘over the hill’ or ‘zone of action’.
Tonight was the same – diplomatic negotiation for the sake of better world to live in - the cliché of it all. To add icing on the cake, his brother the Crown Prince Jonghyun was well aware how bad he was during the military-jargon thing and did his very best to attend to the discomfort Jongdae had every time someone was asking his opinion (particularly his uncle Youngwoon). He would simply say ‘I can’t give an answer I wasn’t confident myself.’ Though his was embarrassed – he still couldn’t believe he survived that for over six years – the other royal family members were kind enough to brush it off.

The only encouragement Jongdae received from his father was the patting at the small of his back, once the meeting adjourned. He wasn’t in the least depressed at the display because his brother was rewarded the same treatment (to say he was the precious crown prince). Yet Jongwoon released them unusually late that same night, not after a ‘declaration’ he found himself struggled to follow.

“Why me?” Jongdae questioned in a strained voice. “What about Jonghyun?”

“Prince, behave.”

Screw the ethical code! “I need to know why Jonghyun-hyung … father, it has been unacceptable.”

Jongdae distanced himself far away from his older brother’s arm, and much farther across his father. He was having a panic attack since forever and neither the presence of the closest royal family in that lounge room could pacify him. Sweat was running cold and trickling down his temple as his vision got dizzied. He caught the silhouette of his father moving towards him.

“Stop,” he whimpered as he sagged forward. Regulating his breath painfully, he slowly conjured a word, “Please explain.”
As if everyone was holding their own life on the thin rope, Jongwoon was torn whether breaking the news right then and there was the best bet, though saving it for another day could worsen the situation. Thus the king stood unmoving in front of his youngest child, watching the heartbreaking lad battled the unannounced fight he had inflicted upon the child silently. All the while, the king prayed to the celestials for his son’s safety.
From the corner of Jongdae’s eyes, the prince belatedly realized his father’s sister was standing closer to his right side, effectively blocking the crown prince at the back but Jongdae had the keen sharp eyes. He noticed on how the crown prince was fisting the side of his garment so hard. Defeated, Jongdae tried to lift his head, carefully rose to stand before making an eye-contact with his father.
“There is nothing to say?”
Jongwoon didn’t make an effort as he remained quiet, because the possibility of him crying along with his son scaring him.
Blinking the unshed tears, Jongdae ultimately understood. “I’ll be fine.” He prompted then, “Goodnight, father.” The prince left the suffocated lounge room in hope everything would be less awful when morning came.

()()()()()()
The first time Jongdae had a breakdown strike, he collapsed on a field track on his way back to meet his brother at the front gate. It was during his second year of primary school as he still remembered the scorching sun of July burned his expanse of pale skin. All of a sudden he couldn’t hear his friends’ voices albeit his friends were clearly laughing, then the next seconds he saw his friends scampering away as he gripped tightly on the bench near the field track. He practically could feel his heart was thumping so loud he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. He was trembling and he couldn’t properly intake the oxygen.

For it seemed like an eternity until the episode passed, he felt his lung was on fire and soon enough he saw his brother crouching a meter away across him. His brother looked all conflicted yet a blink after that the older boy composed himself. Jonghyun didn’t say anything and he was thankful for that as his brother ushered his friends to go home. It wasn’t until he totally recovered, did he finally realize his brother was waiting for him silently and he thought he should say something about it, but he was too drained to speak. He fainted right then and there.

The next day he woke up, the physician advised him on learning to control his breathing so he should develop coping skills of encountering the same episode if it ever going to happen. It didn’t came as a surprise to the young prince when one day his brother joined the routine session conducted by the physician as they both learned one or two relaxation techniques by the day.

Jongdae was told later that his brother nursed him throughout the night as he ran down with a fever on the fateful day. Despite they were brothers by blood, the young prince always felt his brother was out of his reach no matter how hard the eight-year old boy tried to catch up on the ten-year old brother. Thus he felt left out without him realizing his brother was always there for him.

“Thank you,” he confessed one day, after dining.

Jonghyun beamed as the older boy reached over the table and ruffled his hair fondly.

()()()()()()

“Hey Jongdae,” greeted the ever collected crown prince.

“What?” He wasn’t in the mood to be decent if tomorrow wasn’t the day he supposed to be expecting someone from the neighboring country or worse ‘partner-for-lifetime’. Just why he agreed to this so heedlessly was something he should ponder on. Oh, well time wasn’t his best friend.

“Are you okay?”

“Do I?”

Jonghyun grabbed the prince’s shoulder forcefully in an attempt to placate the slightly terrified young man. His eyes were as large as saucers though technically Jongdae couldn’t have that big for an eye due to the genetic traits. Surprised was indeed an understatement – weariness, agitation and overwhelmedness were all swirling in that beautiful dark brown pool. Heaving a sigh, the older eased the grasp slightly.
“You should rest.” Looking around the room, Jonghyun asked, “Where’s Baekhyun?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” Massaging his eyes, softly Jongdae tried to answer. It came like a whine instead, “I sent him back to the quarters. He’s so noisy.”
“Dae,” the only nickname the prince approved of Jonghyun to call upon him, in which was meant as brother-talk moment - private and very personal. He went rigid at the calling. “You could still reject the offer.”
“It isn’t an offer.”
Exasperated, the crown prince huffed. “Still you could reject whatever you called that is. I’ll talk to father and I’ll try to make him understand.” He continued, “You don’t have to do this.”
I know! “Father won’t abandon me right? Then, that’s fine by me.”
“Is it really?” Jonghyun grew annoyed. “You don’t get the idea why father needs this to happen? You don’t think this isn’t all about the country’s sake?”
Taking a seat across his brother, he breathed. “It’s my future, of course.”

A lavish country with various majestic landmarks across the land with an equally harmonious community of its own, tremendously improving over the past thirty years was Seoul. After the unexpected outbreak in 22nd century Daejeon extended an extra hand to make up for the incredible livestock loss and in return the other proposed in providing the best facility for physician-to-be. Since then the two countries acted as each other’s greatest supporter.

Only Jongdae wasn’t expecting the spousal relationship had any relevancy in it. Sure he knew his father was very fond of King Siwon’s sons (sometimes more than he ever received) yet this isn’t something he could fathom over just a night – he might not be able to understand it even if a millennium was given to him. The siblings were famous, so to speak due to the intelligence ran deep inside their systems. It wasn’t anything like he and his brother weren’t gifted with brain (at least his brother was wise); flair and elegance were the nuanced differences.

Despite everything Jongdae wasn’t the only one suffering.

Joonmyun could be thrilled he would be screaming at the top of his lungs, if the marriage arrangement wasn’t for his dear only brother, Jongin. The crown prince precisely knew where the fine line was going to stand once his family accepted the newcomer as the next kinship. That just meant he needed to keep his crush lay hidden somewhere inside the deepest core of his well-being. Nothing could have gone wrong if no one would notice or speak of it.

“I feel strangely stimulated.” Jongin stated as Joonmyun made a face at his younger brother. “In a good way,” the younger reassured. They were heading to the hall where the official announcement would seal everyone-who-matter’s fate.
“Aren’t you supposed to be nervous?”
“It makes me want to throw everything up in a gutter.” Jongin retorted. “No worry. I’ll make sure you won’t spot any socially misbehavior from me tonight.”
Joonmyun rolled his eyes, “That feels reassuring.”
The brothers then fell into silent as both mesmerized by the aesthetically attractive garden across from them. The flowers were blooming with various shades of color. Joonmyun instinctively advanced five steps towards his right as eyes stared at the uniqueness of white magnolia before bringing his face closer to the plant.
“What are you doing?” There was a ridiculous tone in that flat voice.
Of course Joonmyun wasn’t sharp enough to catch the sudden change in Jongin’s because if he was, his younger brother would be dead by now.
“Come on, we’re going to be late. Jinri might be waiting.” Jongin pulled the crown prince unceremoniously by his sleeve, which somehow crashing the poor Baekhyun, who just happened to be spending half an hour to appear presentable.
“Don’t you have eyes?” Picking himself up, Baekhyun was surprised as he widened his eyes though he didn’t exactly move himself to help the crown prince. “Suho, you really need to walk with your head up.” He, however, closed the gap once Joonmyun stood up, a small smile plastered on his face. “Crown Prince Joonmyun, pleasure to meet you.”
The crown prince was rightfully blushing, if the faint pink on his cheeks was an indicator, “Pleasure to meet you too, Baekhyun. I’m sorry for that.”

“No, I should be the one apologizing.” Baekhyun didn’t emphasize his point as his eyes briefly glanced at the young lad behind the crown prince. “Can I have a minute with you, Crown Prince?”

Though Joonmyun hesitated for a while, he informed his brother the opposite, “You can walk to the hall first. I need to catch up with Baekhyun.” He added, “I won’t be late I promise.”

Jongin gave his older brother an impassive look, “I won’t guarantee anything if she blows your things.” Then the young prince disappeared.

It was a threat, but he didn’t need for the companion in front of him to know that. “So what is it?”

Baekhyun had a playful smile as the corner of his mouth was lifted a bit, eyes boring into Joonmyun’s. “You’re feeling fine with this?”

With a tiniest bit of hope shredded among the unseen probability, he wanted to say he was doing just fine – in fact he knew he would survive. Yet optimism wasn’t going to do him much because that was his least favorite thing to be bothered about. All he ever relied upon was rationale, how the justification of matter fitting into a principle. And this arrangement was somehow right in its peculiar way.

Instead the crown prince shrugged as they continued walking side by side. His heart was pounding when he chose the next word. “I am.”

The younger man was drilling a hole through Joonmyun’s thick skull as he looked at the crown prince before deciding to drop the subject, in which the prince knew that what was the calm before the storm was about.

Baekhyun babbled then, “Chen has been so jittery since yesterday I hope he didn’t actually skin me alive. Screw that, I’m so going to get a handful of words from him and I’m supposed to meet him fifteen minutes ago.” Yet the typical young companion kept on walking, like nothing hadn’t been chased his tail. “Who is she?”

Joonmyun crooked an eyebrow, “You said you’re getting late?”

“I’m curious,”

“She’s one of the twins.” Shrugging, the crown prince sighed as he registered the threat he was getting later. “You should be running.”

Corresponding to that, Baekhyun stopped dead on his feet. He turned to look at the crown prince which resulting Joonmyun to halt in confusion. The young companion made a very ridiculous face Joonmyun could feel his vein popped out in order to wipe the judgment off from the pretty face.

“I don’t know why you act so righteous not that righteous is the best word to describe you because you’re not. I’m kind of furious because I thought maybe this is it, that finally a true sappy love story could have possibly happen. Guess what, you are ruining it with the righteous act of yours. Very righteous indeed,” Baekhyun barked dryly.

The companion left Joonmyun standing like a fool in the hallways as if the heavy loaded truck had hit him straight into his head, knocking him out cold. Never once someone uttered such veracity it made his heart beating so fast because the accurateness of many other things hadn’t been delivered right into his brain since he was enthroned to be the Crown Prince of Seoul. No one ever told him that truth might feel like his heart was burning without extinguishing - like a raging fire.

Should Baekhyun get mad at him for not interfering in the arrangement? Did Baekhyun know that his father never ask for his opinion whether Jongdae is a suitable candidate for his brother? Joonmyun couldn’t fathom actually why Baekhyun needed to lash out his frustration upon him. He knew not a scratch about it. Why Baekhyun’s words hurt though?

()()()()()()

“You should be thrilled! I am so freaking happy and you should, too. Be happy for me Baekhyun, smile for me!"

The night was so enthralled despite the devoid of light source, though the artificial illumination and the moonlight spilling over the area guided them towards the outskirt of the administrative district. It would eventually lead to Baekhyun's grandparent's old house. The familiar scent floated over the air and Baekhyun couldn't feel freaking giddy than he already was, if tricking the royal family that they both would be staying in an inn instead of an unpleasant shabby of a home wouldn't actually put his head into an act of disobedience.

The companion grumbled under his breath and feigned a restrained beam once in a while when the prince was looking over his way. "Don't be so sulky," Jongdae grinned.

Baekhyun almost rolled his eyes in annoyance but deciding not to - Jongdae might strangle him out in the cold. Few meters ahead, a housing area distinguished itself as the prince took in the pretty flowers aligning themselves over the entrance. His eyes practically shone with delight.

"You know how to bake, right? This could be the best birthday present I ever received."

The companion flashed back grimly at the thought of him nearly set the kitchen palace on fire, yet concerned all the same when the prince almost tripping over the air. "Be careful."

Once they settled in, Baekhyun ordered the prince to take a bath after he had done boiling the water, only to meet a restriction when the young prince held his by the wrist. Gently loosened the grip at the confusion look Baekhyun's threw off, Jongdae argued. "I can manage myself."

Dumbfounded, Baekhyun clarified, "The hot water?"

"Yes - umm, no," Jongdae was clearly having a hard time explaining himself. He finally responded after battling to get his word out in the open. Embarrassment colored his face. "Don't heat the water, for me at least."

Jongdae had hoped that would be enough of an answer but Baekhyun didn't seem to understand the subtlety. "Why?"

"... I could do it just fine."

"You mean you could heat the water just fine. Right?" Baekhyun almost laughed his face off if Jongdae wasn't exactly approving his statement. The older companion paled,
"You're kidding me. Jongdae, you're going to freeze to death!"

"It won't be that bad," Jongdae muttered, wincing at the shrieking voice Baekhyun made.

"You won't survive the coldness. This is why following you is a bad idea, I mean not following as a companion-follow but agreeing-to-you-follow is," Baekhyun was spluttering nonsense but that didn't stop him. "Why don't we just follow the palace’s rule in here? It’d be safer."

"This isn't palace."

"You think I don't know that, silly? I’m sorry, Jongdae - No, you can't be serious. It really freezes you to death. I can't come back to the palace with a dead body of yours. I get executed." Baekhyun hysterically added, "My mom would be so upset. I don't want to upset her. No, please I can heat the water as fast as I could just don't do this. Don't say you want to freeze yourself to death with that bloody cold water."

"Baekhyun, don't be dramatic."
Flailing his both hands onto his side, Baekhyun sighed in defeat as he wearily looked at the prince. "You're serious, don't you?"
Jongdae didn't utter a word instead he rummaged through his bag. Then he faced the resignation look of Baekhyun and assured the companion, "I'll be fine. I call for help if I need one."
"I did warn you so don't blame me." Baekhyun contrasted then, "I'll put the warm water later." The companion disappeared to the kitchen.
For once Jongdae was pleased that he could experience the sharp chilly cold water digging into his pale skin despite the water could easily frost his brain. Ironically his heart was bursting with excitement of witnessing new things next morning - discovering why civilian's life was different from the gracious of palace and why they were content still. He smiled at the baffled look of Baekhyun when he suggested a nickname 'Chen' for the companion to address him; just he would feel comfortable talking to everyone he got to meet tomorrow.
()()()()()()

Baekhyun had been living in the governing mansion since forever as far as Jongdae could tell by the story the older boy had been story-telling to everyone he encountered upon. In fact the older boy had attended the same primary school as his though Jongdae was thoroughly denying that. He couldn’t possibly not remembering any fellow students of the same age, right? Well Baekhyun certainly wouldn’t let him off the hook that easily as he kept on teasing him – claiming that he must had hit his head somewhere when he had the first panic attack.
Talking about that brat – where ever that guy was, he should have come faster before Jongdae exposing himself onto the grenade (Baekhyun would have all eternity to blame himself).
It was unnerving as he could only smile at his best while civilians were all cheering at the marriage announcement that fateful night. He was quite surprised at the support he had been receiving, not that he actually thought people would be grumbling behind his back. It felt surreal somehow because it was just a matter of minutes before the gathering.
The prince has been avoiding Jongin the expected husband as much as he possibly could since the announcement. Until his father steeped up, setting a gathering amongst Daejeon’s royal family members and the other family members, a fortnight before the ceremony. That marked the first meeting from both of them, subsequently three months after the announcement.
Jongdae whined and complained every single thing he had found faulty in his room to Baekhyun, and the poor companion was dutifully assisting the frazzled young prince.
“Baekhyun, quit standing there. Help me find my book,”
One’s patience had its own limit and right now Baekhyun’s tolerance was bordering a very steep rock face. It was unbelievably calm when said older boy pointed it out. “It’s on the bed, Jongdae.”
Swirling so fast, the prince retrieved it before speaking again, “Baekhyun – “
“Chen,”
Annoyance was flaring so high on top of his head that Baekhyun had seized the thick book from the prince’s tight grip. But Jongdae refused to heed with his strictly business tone. There was this wonderment as to why Jongdae the quite persistent young prince only seemed to be obedient when it came to Baekhyun. And the worst case the companion had ever seen was Jongdae starved himself on the night the royal family disapproving his act of strolling around the town as a part of celebrating his adult age.
Right now the prince was being so stubborn like a bull, rebellious.
Jongdae chose not to acknowledge the restraint as he moved unceremoniously despite the book retrieval, finding other things to occupy his mind on. He started talking again, “Maybe I need to redecorate the room. I should have told the painter to supply the new paint. This shelf is so old I need to replace them as soon as possible.”
Every inch of the room was having a makeover. Baekhyun couldn’t stop the young prince as he stayed at the back, declining to speak or giving any comment though he mentally noted the changes that were needed. The discontent meant to be substituted.
It was until the last breathe that finally Jongdae stopped himself. He panted softly, trying to catch his breath due to the rapid fire commentary he made at the last moment. His eyes were glazing with so much pent-up emotions - Baekhyun didn’t have enough vocabulary to describe them.
Walking closer to the young prince, Baekhyun enveloped him in a warm embrace. “Hey, you’re going to be just fine.”
“I know I am,” Jongdae’s voice came out muffled as he hid his face on the companion’s fabric. “You smell nice, Baekhyun-nie.”
If this wasn’t so ironic, the older man would have been laughing his face off at the pathetic cheesy attempt. “I’ll heat the water. You should ready yourself for the gathering.” Rubbing a gentle stroke on Jongdae’s small back, he whispered, almost hoping the marriage won’t be happening anytime sooner. “Maybe this isn’t so bad like how you thought it would be.” Baekhyun felt himself detested whoever made the stupid arrangement, even if that someone was the king himself.
Part of why Jongdae treasured the older companion was because he put so much trust in Baekhyun’s hand, including his own life and the other didn’t abuse that decision improperly. The older was everything he couldn’t seek upon his biological brother for Jonghyun very much similar to Jongdae – rigid without expression, guarded with no room for vulnerability. Baekhyun spoke so much it was enough for both of them, including crying for tears Jongdae couldn’t shed himself upon.
All in all, Baekhyun was sort of life he wished he could keep for the rest of his live, yet nothing the companion could have done when Jongin was seated across from him during dinner. He was being squished between his crown-brother and a cousin a year older than him. And it was so awfully awkward because they were all chatting like this was some kind of casual gathering, where everyone went to their respective home afterwards only it wasn’t because they were all going to stay in the palace until the ceremony. It was exactly fourteen days until that.
Jongdae couldn’t even get to talk or move around for the food because Seoul Royal Family kept asking him so many things all at once.
The prince however aware the familiar glances exchanged between the royal brothers yet he immediately dropped his gaze down when the older royal brother looked at his way. He felt blush creeping onto his cheeks. Silly!
As he tried to fight the fluttering tingling Jongdae noticed a small rolled paper near his plate. Puzzled, he furtively threw brief glances to his left and right before picking the note carefully. Then, he flattened the sheet.

We can meet at the garden if you want to.
Jongin ^^

Oh hey it’s a smile! Lifting his head to a sight of royal brothers talking to each other, Jongdae watched Jongin stood on his feet before he disappeared amidst the chattering noise. He contemplated for a while as he caught his father and King Siwon having a nice time chatting who knew what. It would be so disheartening if it was other things but his personal preferences or Jongin's for that matter.
Somehow the prince had thought of a probability that Jongin wasn’t all happy about the arrangement because then it would make this easier, if he wasn’t the only one pretending.

His feet stood subconsciously before registering he was indeed being so rude in front of the royal members. He caught a baffled look from his brother and walked away from them quickly before he caught himself apologizing for something he didn't even do - Jongin wasn't exactly saying anything before fleeing, so why should he?
Living so graciously noble had its perk apparently.
For a moment there, Jongdae wasn't in the right mind to actually be thinking whether he should just run off to the safety of his chamber or leaving the other prince hanging. Though he found himself crossing the bridge and stopping once he reached the six-post gazebo.
The moon was breaking through the water surface and he almost sighed at the thought of why he stuck in this lifetime - being a prince dutifully perform any thing for the country's sake - when he could just be like the fish in the palace lake, surrounding by the nature, unnerving to the thought of other big fish chasing their tail off.
Jongdae chuckled dryly - he must be out of his mind already - why would he choose to be a fish when he could be just a normal civilian farming to meet life's end and socializing with everyone in the market.
"The stars are generous," came a low voice so close to his ear.
Turning himself ever so slowly, Jongdae watched Jongin propped his both hands under the chiseled jaw as he bent his abdomen forward, admiring the tiny silver stars twinkled on the dark horizon.
"On the day it could turn out worse, the stars are cheering. It's beautiful, don't you think?"
Blinking in confusion, Jongdae remained indifferent. Jongin flexed his neck muscle to look upon him and strained a smile as he straightened his posture. Both were allowing silence reigned supreme and drowned them both to the pit until Jongin spoke again.
"This whole thing freaks me out honestly but I need you to be okay with it." A beat later, Jongin added, "Are you?"
Thousands of scenario flashed before Jongdae's eyes - if he was agreeing on a ‘yes’ would that mean Jongin was going to cherish him like how he wanted the other true half of him supposedly to or if declining a ‘no’ would mean this arrangement wasn't going to happen ultimately?
"What difference it makes?"
Jongin studied him for quite sometimes before opting to lean on his side against the pillar of the gazebo. Jongdae continued looking at the younger prince – Baekhyun had slipped out 'he's freaking younger than you!' out of frustration.
Jongin's jaw was locked and tense. "So you could have enjoyed your life as a married man though you weren't actually. So you could be happy even this isn't exactly your plan of happiness. So you shouldn't blame yourself for everything that is."

Joonmyun was standing amongst the crowd after accompanied the nerve-wrecking Jongin in the parlor as Jinri talked non-stop, advising the groom here and there while he didn't offer anything. He didn't have anything to say - well he couldn't. The crown prince watched beads of sweat on the young prince’s forehead and he grabbed a tissue or two, offering them to Jongin. He decided a tease won't be too bad.

"Nervous, huh?"

"No kidding," Jongin laughed dryly as he dried up the salty fluid.

Both failed to respond afterwards, not when Jinri was fussing over Jongin's tuxedo, saying he should be careful not to wrinkle the expensive garment and the crown prince resolved then - he was exactly offering nothing maybe he should just walk out from the room.

He took unnecessary a long route just so he wouldn't pass the other groom's room and just so he wouldn't feel his heart crushed into pieces. Shaking his head slightly, he strode the hallways before exiting a small gate and waited at the sideline.

There was throng of civilians pushing every now and then behind his back, in an attempt to claim the best spot for the ceremony. The crown prince was certain Seoul people would react the same way if not more - the reason why it was called as celebratory.

He should really start to leave the infatuation somewhere dark behind his heart and never ever awakening it no matter what - it was almost impossible but that was probably for the better cause. Imagine if his brother knew or worst Jinri acknowledged that first, before everyone else's (never mind Baekhyun).

"Look, the prince is smiling."

"You want him to cry for getting married?"

"This is sort of festivity, what did you expect?"

Joonmyun ignored the noise at the left side of his, getting annoyed at the close distance between him and the little group clique, which hadn't done anything to make things bearable. Suddenly he felt so hot with a tuxedo framed his broad shoulder - he should have discarded the material before coming down to the yard, but he could do nothing of the sort for feared people looked at his way. Attention was the last thing he wanted to attract people of him.

"The prince doesn't have the choice, does he?"

"Could you please be quiet?" The hushed tone voice tried really hard to reprimand in whisper. "These people can tear our lives apart alright."

"It's the truth."

"I bet they are all thinking about the same thing."

"They probably are but we don't need them to pull our hair before they are agreeing how freaking perfect yet silly the arrangement is but it isn't."

"Why Prince Jongin though?"

The silent was stretched so far it reached to the bordering of pain for Joonmyun to not willingly stare at the group, somehow commanding any kind of response. His gaze was burning hole because how hard he was trying not to find the answer of the previous question - somewhat afraid of what could have come out from that mere inquiry.

Million replies conjured within his mind and he tried to shut the bubble thought when his name came up as an association - no, there were reasons why Daejeon’s people prefer their Prince Jongdae to marry someone else that was not his brother Prince Jongin.

"Hey, that's his brother right?"

"So what? Everyone has a brother. Mine has gone somewhere with his typical young friends. Stop dropping your jaw so low you look so madman. Whatever did you s- "

The crown prince was so lost in the whirling maze of his mind. He jumped out of the reverie by gentle nudge on his sleeve.

" – okay"

"... Huh?"

"You seem like you're seeing a ghost. Are you okay?"
"You need to address him," a voice hissed.

Joonmyun smiled wryly before realizing he needed to flee from the yard as soon as possible. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for the consi- concern." The crown prince swirled 360 degree as fast as he could, but he caught himself off guard with a question.

"We have met before, don't we?"

Speechless and confounded, Joonmyun escaped from the overwhelmedness of everything. Don't think about it Joonmyun don't think about it Joonmyun don't think about it Joonmyun don't think about it Joonmyun don't thi-

::xxxxx::

The rays of morning light danced throughout the room, playing gently around the sleeping lump on the bed. Should someone rap his door by this hour, he needed to be freshening up, smiling his usual grin the one waiting for him would be so surprised, but none of those he bothered to care.

He was so tired he would have slept in like a log and wait till thousand years later to wake up before finding out that everything was so new, he wouldn't needed to be so interested in turning things the way it was supposed to be. His wishful thinking should have done some magic one of these days.

"You need to get up." Kyungsoo's flat tone graced his ear.

Speaking of the devil - Joonmyun groaned lazily, burying his face into the pillow fabric. “Why, a thief broke into your room?”

“It worst than that,” monotone still.

“Why could have been so worse than my father’s tragic news six months ago?”

Kyungsoo was hesitant for a while before proceeding, “It’s exactly 365 days in two weeks.” Deliberately and softly, he added. “Joon, you need to return.”

“I refuse.”

The man on the bed was wallowing in despair because how could Kyungsoo the wise best friend also known as the great assistant of his subjecting the word return as the worst case scenario. He laughed at the funny way Kyungsoo’s brain worked.

“I don’t find my comment of reminding you to come home funny.”

Kyungsoo was serious Joonmyun stopped playing all together. Lying on his back, Joonmyun stole a glance at the young assistant before directing his eyes on the high ceiling. “Goodness, you don’t wear your pretty face to wrinkle it. I don’t find going back exciting.”

“You need to, Joon.”

“Then again people find you sexy when you’re frowning. How is that sexy by the way?” He laughed a good minute. Sighing, Joonmyun closed his eyes. “Fine, pack your bag.”

The young assistant met Joonmyun exactly one year ago on an agreement term that he would help him whatever Joonmyun thought suited him best, which including the small matter of cooking all sort of meals, to the endurance of picking garments and hunting for the best style of the season and the extremity of handling the desk-job mountains - sorting and running everywhere for the elder man. It was pure intentional because Joonmyun offered an impressive sum that could have lasted next three-decade or maybe more.

That being said, Joonmyun was such a fragile man beneath that constant uncompromising mask he always wore. Since Kyungsoo had been living with the elder guy, Joonmyun had disclosed so many things the assistant found himself succumbing to the crack of its depth. He could have done something, anything except that wasn’t what written in his job description, so he remorseless watched behind the invisible barrier Joonmyun built.

Thus informing Joonmyun about the dateline was dreading. Yet it needed to be done because that was his purpose since day one. And Kyungsoo was painfully aware the string of reasons at the back of Joonmyun’s mind like he had an access to it. The prince wasn’t ready for the next step but desperate the same to put the misery-fire out of his.

“Hey, we – I think it’s here.”

Joonmyun looked strangely at his assistant’s mild tone before walking out from the public conveyance and waiting for Kyungsoo to stop gawking at the sudden scenery around him.

Someone rushed to his side, “Welcome home, Crown Prince.”

If Jongdae was surprised, that would mean he done a very good job at hiding the thunderous beats of his heart. He was caught off guard at the sweet overwhelming expensive cologne, he found himself gripping the side of his garment slightly. The prince watched Jongin welcoming his brother with such radiating joy and he smiled at the child-like attitude.

“Finally Joonmyun, it takes you ages.” Chanyeol, who was hanging around with them exclaimed, glad nevertheless.

The prince continued to smile until he realized Joonmyun introduced Kyungsoo with a gaze fixated on him. He gulped in nervous. Shoot! Probably Joonmyun didn’t know that his younger brother had an intimate buddy-feeling with Chanyeol, whose family happened to have a massive influence in automotive industry of Seoul. Jongdae thought of ways to prevent any misinformed message travelled to Joonmyun’s mind but his was white blank. He remained passive throughout the whole self-introductory.

Jongin had to initiate, “This is Prince Jongdae from Daejeon.”

And Jongdae still baffled, he could only smile in relief at Jongin. Baekhyun then came to save his day from further embarrassment. Of course the companion wasn’t exactly discreet on rescuing him when Baekhyun fired him a question.

“What’s with earlier?”

Reaching a big study room, Jongdae entered to the safety of the enclosed ample space. “What is what’s with earlier?”

The companion studied Jongdae’s face. Minutes passed by, the prince moved away to a shelf on his left side. He felt suffocated when the tension bent all over his lungs, he thought he would have collapsed under that pressure. He heard a shuffle from behind him - probably Baekhyun was pacing towards the large window pane at the corner. When the dull rustle of steps ceased, the prince braced himself as he turned around.

Baekhyun was standing against the wall, saying nothing while his eyes danced everywhere on Jongdae’s skin, leaving ghostly trail in its wake. He hated the knowing look of the older companion because that face was telling him to come clean but Jongdae had thought Baekhyun might know he strongly dislike on revealing his feeling so direct and face-to-face. That vulnerable was very insecure for he could have fallen from the sharp edge, failing to recover.

“It’s unfamiliar to me,” Baekhyun started. Then it all silence once again. “Breathe slowly, prince.”

Jongdae was always aware if panic tried to settle on him but the moment the companion whispered the word, he noticed his lungs was on fire for the muscle strain was tearing every nerve within him. “W-What hap -pened?” He croaked.

It was like one moment was all calm and serene and the next seconds after that pitiful wrecking-mess was a pain sight to look at. The worst was he didn’t actually realize the panic surging in his vein like he was meant to overlook upon it, but it shouldn’t be. He caught Baekhyun closing the distance between them from the corner of his eyes and repeated the question. “W-Why? Wh-at is happening?”

There was a blurred image far across him but the soft humming of familiar tune helped him concentrate, to fight the fogginess. He tried to lift his hand only to find the energy was draining out of him. Hence he mustered on calling someone.

“B’hyun,”

“He’s waking up,” Foreign voice lingered beside his head.

Suddenly a pair of limb pushed him gently on his back. He recognized Baekhyun’s pleasant scent as he tried refocusing into anything distinct around him while his hand grasping blindly for a hold (hopefully it was Baekhyun’s).

“You blacked out.” The companion added, “Try not to move so much.”

“Why?”

Standing up straight Baekhyun walked over to a shelf and retrieved a book. “I’ve yet to discover but this fits with yours somehow.”

“Are we in the study room still?” Jongdae’s mind was muddled.

“Yes, we are. Now let me finish.” One brief glance at the prince, Baekhyun continued despite a creaking door, revealing Jongin and Chanyeol. “Something I don’t know what is triggering your olfactory bulb thus contributing to your passing out.”

“Olfa- what?” Chanyeol blinked in confusion.

“Olfactory bulb,” Jongin beat as his eyes caught something from a distance. The youngest of them however came closer to the companion while Chanyeol took several more steps before plopping down beside Kyungsoo, on the couch direct-opposite of Joonmyun.

“It’s where an odor is being processed. Once the smell is recognized, it passes through to other areas. Most common is area involving emotions, eventually memories, too.”

Struggling to sit up, Jongdae had realized that he looked so pathetic laying so uselessly on the soft fabric though no one was actually minding him as they were all busy taking information from Baekhyun. He was glad when someone assisting him. The prince found himself still holding a warm hand. Puzzled, he tilted sideway – the eldest Royal brother graced him with reassurance it made every noise in him fading.

“It is fatal?”

“Not as far as I’ve been researching.” Baekhyun moved the thick book towards Jongin who silently asking for it. “I think this is his second.”

Jongin whipped his head upon hearing that, but Baekhyun in subtlety laughed at his own remark, “I’ve forgotten when. He’s been having so many attacks I couldn’t keep track any of them.”

Jongdae in return, flushed a deep crimson red. Fortunately, Jinri striding into the room ended the mindless teasing of playful Baekhyun. She asked Joonmyun to move from the spot, swiftly releasing the hold. Jongdae found himself gaping at Jinri’s audacity - Joonmyun was a Royal how could she talk so casually with him?

“You need to drink this,” she said.

“What is this?”

“Green tea,” she supplied, uncaring with the frown on Jongdae’s features as she was rather throwing billion questions to Joonmyun. “Find your inner peace yet?”

“I don’t like green tea,” Jongdae whined.

“Pinch your nose then. You need to finish it all.”

Kyungsoo was the one helping him through all the unpleasant experience of drinking the bitter tea. Back then in Daejeon his brother would make sure he had a jar of honey along with the tea set (‘take some honey to make it bearable but not too much’).

“There’s a rumor on why you choose not to be the King yet.” Scrolling down the screen on his hand, Kyungsoo commented. “Mostly they’re praising you. That’s good I supposed.”

Joonmyun remained impassive as he worked on couple of documents in front of him. Once he done revising, the crown prince moved onto the new sets of document. “I don’t mind you gossiping, but please don’t do it in front of me.”

“It’s an article on a hosted forum. They are all coming from your people, Joonmyun.” Kyungsoo huffed in annoyance. “Seriously stop pretending. I hate that stiff eyebrows of yours. It’s ugly.”

“Then stop your silly grin from assaulting my sight. It’s ugly.”

“What’s silly grin?” Kyungsoo dryly humored. “You’ve got the best joke of the year, Joon.”

“Yeah, I am.”

A sharp knuckle rapped against the wooden door and Joonmyun shut the files before pushing them all away on a table behind him. “Come in, Baekhyun.”

Kyungsoo was dumbfounded, “Since when did you decide to do everything by yourself?”

“Your Highness, you call me?”

“I’m not your king. Don’t call me that.” Joonmyun sighed.

Baekhyun shrugged, “You will sooner. Plus, you get to call that way for the rest of your eternity so that was the first and last of me greeting that title on you. So smile,”

Joonmyun chuckled softly, “You never change, Baekhyun.”

“Well, you did change yourself over a year. Quite impressive I’d say.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment. Thank you. Please make yourself comfortable,” the crown prince gestured the companion to have a seat. They need to be very civil for the incoming issue at hand. “The first time was four - no, five years ago, wasn’t it?”

The companion would have been laughing at Joonmyun’s impatience if it wasn’t anything remotely funny for him to joke around. He caught Kyungsoo’s gaze at the other side of him before glancing back over Joonmyun.

“He’ll keep this confidential. Don’t worry.”

Baekhyun wasn’t in the slightest concern whether this wide-eyed assistant could have leaked any information or spread it for the world to see, for Joonmyun would have easily put a bullet in that thick skull, provided if the crown prince knew how to handle the gun. “This isn’t mine, Joonmyun.”

“You’d think we both can solve this on ourselves then?”

“I hate you for guilt-trip me.” Reluctantly, Baekhyun stated. “Fine sworn yourself to secrecy.”

Rolling his eyes, Kyungsoo said. “I’ll keep this confidential till he tells me otherwise.” He gestured to the eldest prince.

Feeling a bit relief, Baekhyun nodded. “I’m still puzzled to these days why he couldn’t remember the accident.”

“Is there any particular moment he might encounter something that terrified him?” Kyungsoo started.

“What are you suggesting?”

The confused look from Baekhyun had told Joonmyun something he had amiss for as long as the matter had brewing inside his head. “He must have a trauma.”

“W-What?”

“Think about it Baekhyun, he was so shaken up at the accident he forgot about it altogether. It makes sense.”

Baekhyun was so reeled up he couldn’t connect the link. “Are you saying your fragrance triggering him? I think that is funny Joonmyun, because that means you are the trauma.” For real, the companion was laughing to his heart content but he tearing up at the last minute. “You couldn’t be the trauma, Joonmyun. Please,”

For a moment, both Kyungsoo and Joonmyun exchanged a look, “What fragrance?”

“Your bloody expensive fragrance!” Baekhyun was by now too hysterical to think straight. “Didn’t you listen in earlier? Things are triggering his panic attacks. But your oh-so sweet scent blacking him out without him even realized it. What have you done to him?”

Out of defense, Joonmyun murmured. “I didn’t do anything.”

Glaring, Baekhyun threw an exasperated frustration. “He needs to get accustomed to your scent without him fainting on the spot.”

It was annoyingly ridiculous, if Joonmyun got to make a comment about it. Kyungsoo’s taste was terribly bad he could have vomit from thousand miles away at the strong odor.

“Don’t be silly. You’re not a legendary creature neither a hybrid. For all I know Jongdae has far better sense of smell than yours.” Picking out an attractive maroon-red liquid in a squared-bottle, the assistant handed it to Joonmyun, much to the prince’s chagrin.

“I don’t like red.”

Kyungsoo stared dumbfounded. “You think it screams red all over you the moment you put it on?”

Joonmyun brushed the sarcastic remark as he put back the bottle on the rack and moved somewhere else, mortified for whining like an immature child. “Pick something else that is not red,” he simply said.

Huffing in exasperation the assistant groaned, so loud so that the prince would note how dissatisfied the younger man was. Kyungsoo ended up choosing three sets of perfume - two from the same brand.

“What’s with the sets? Couldn’t we just buy the cologne?”

“It won’t hurt your wallet.”

“It’s a waste.” Kindly spoke towards to the staff lady, Joonmyun smiled. “There won’t be a need for the sets, just the colognes please.”

Rolling his eyes to the heaven, Kyungsoo attempted. “Did you really wear it, those years ago?”

The prince turned to face the assistant briefly before retrieving the purchases from said lady. “Thank you, have a good day.” Walking out from the store, Joonmyun continued. “To be honest, I’m not sure.”

“You aren’t short of them do you?”

“What? The cologne?” The prince had the audacity to chuckle. “I have tons of them in my wardrobe. You could have stolen it and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.”

Opening the door of passenger seat, the younger man slipped in while Joonmyun went straight for the wheel. “Then why?”

Placing the purchase at the backseat, he shrugged, “Baekhyun’s request.” Joonmyun revved up the engine before sketching out from the parking lot.

“You know, I don’t think yours is overpowering or something. Just maybe it feels uncomfortable for Jongdae.”

Glancing shortly at the younger, the prince noticed his young friend was watching the many buildings through the window. “I know.”

“Do you?” Kyungsoo asked in a manner Joonmyun should answer the question with every being of his, rather than avoiding it. “You’d realize you’re freaking out last night.”

It was a statement because it was true he did freak out. Joonmyun couldn’t find a relevant response to Kyungsoo’s - here he thought he won’t turn softie at the sight of certain male.

“Don’t sigh, Joon. You’ll get old.”

Joonmyun snickered. “Geez Kyungsoo. Thanks.”

Now that he got accustomed to every inch of Seoul’s Palace Residence, Jongdae always found himself in the kitchen along with other chambermaids, whenever he had free schedule either from his course-work or important events he and Jongin had to attend. He met Jinri there occasionally and surprisingly they were all entertaining him with things he never knew it was funny, until they told him it was.

“That’s why Minseokkie, you should have been there.”

A man later replied, uncaringly disregarded the fact that the one asking was clinging onto his arm like koala hugging a tree. “Yeah? I think I’m perfectly fine in here.”

Luhan snorted, voice dripping with poison as he stroke the other’s arm in circle flirtingly. “Darling, you’ll get sick if you continue confined yourself in here.” He then added after rolling his eyes behind the other’s back. “It’ll be fun I’d promise.”

“Hmm,”

And it was the last straw for the pretty man’s effort – it was all wasted. “Fine, have it your way, silly man.” Luhan exited the back door with so much anger boiling inside him. He punched the other hard by the arm.

Minseok consciously rubbed the itchy spot of his arm, still indifferent before resuming in decorating three-tier red velvet. “What’s with that?” Jongdae asked, after making sure Luhan wasn’t in the earshot.

“He asks for a companion for tonight,”

Jongdae watched how Minseok skillfully and gracefully moved his hands around the cake. Lifting his head slightly, he enquired. “You mean a date?”

“That’s what he defines.” The cook shrugged. “I can’t be bothered with impractical things like that.”

“Why is it impractical?” Jongdae asked curiously.

Someone was approaching them when he heard the older cook replied. “It’s useless if we’re going in circles.”

“Then maybe Minseokkie, you should have say that to him, clear point-taken talk.”

Jinri smiled in smug because she had just called a pet name given by Luhan - if anything the prince was sure Minseok hated the name till his next two lives. The cook glared dagger at her for a minute before dropping his gaze. Was there a hint of dread in his eyes?

“This is why Dae, he was funny every time the topic of them dating each other scared him senseless.” Jinri retorted. “He wouldn’t even look at me in the eyes.”

The prince thought maybe she was some kind of intimidating that was why, but he wasn’t sure how much wrath of her she could have inflicted upon him, so he just patted the cook on the shoulder. “You should probably tell him that you didn’t want it to be a one-time thing.” Then he distracted the girl with something else. “Where were you coming from?”

Jinri took an ample of time to reply as if she was trying to shake the jitters off her. She smiled brightly, “Nowhere. You remember there’s a celebration tonight, right?” She steered the prince out of the kitchen.

“I think Jongi- uhm your husband ask me to call for you, your Prince Jongin.” She laughed awkwardly.

“Go, quick.”

Jongdae for as long as a year he had been in the residence, thought she might have develop a mental issue because of how easy she mingled along with everyone including the Royal brothers. It was time for her to realize it was somewhat rude calling the Royal simply by the name-basis. Though of course he wasn’t actually annoyed when she addressed him with nickname he reserved for his brother only.

“Alright, Jinri. I’m off.” He chuckled lightly, sensing the girl was sort of uncomfortable standing there with him. “I’ll see you tonight.” Grabbing his backpack on the kitchen counter he sauntered off, waving at both of them.

That despite the long stay, he never get to recall which person was which and a year was supposedly enough of him to get close with Jongin’s relatives. Perhaps, Jongin was so kindly supplied him the same information over and over he didn’t feel the need to remember names of unfamiliar face. Besides, it was bounded to be forgotten if he didn’t get to meet the relatives every so often.

Thus it was relatively common if he said he didn’t know who was celebrating an anniversary tonight, yet it was an annoyingly embarrassed to mention that to Jongin. So he just nodded in understanding when the younger prince briefed the same plan route for them to follow or if somehow anyone had asked them to do things they would rather avoid.

“I’m guessing you don’t have the slightest clue who we’re celebrating tonight.”

Jongdae just smiled wryly, abashed. “Your niece?”

Jongin laughed. “Quite right there but the only sibling that gets married is me.”

Right! The eldest Royal brother was still a bachelor. Sheepishly smiled, Jongdae flushed in deep red, “Your cousin’s child then?”

The younger grinned. “Her name is Yerim, and she’s turning nine a week ago. We’re celebrating her birthday on the cruise, remember?”

Memories from the nights before flashed before his eyes. “We’re doing it again to collaborate with your brother’s then?”

“Everyone is so excited when he comes unannounced several days ago. Apparently we are all kind of expecting him to be back at the end of this month though.” Jongin had a restraint smile on his features before looking over him. “Do you have fun in classes today?”

Jongin reminded Jongdae of his father, asking how he spent his day and whether he had fun doing whatever he did hence that was probably why Jongdae detailed everything he could to the other. They had been doing it for over a year now, it felt comfortable somehow.

There were many things Jongdae had learned while adjusting the predicament he was put through in foreign environment that wasn’t his own country. Yet he was aware on how the marital status of Jongin with him was cherished by the citizens, almost to the point of every issue they had came out in a paper, they would just brushed it off, looking on the positive side despite none of the words depicted that.

If Jongin was warmly received, the elder Royal brother was fated to acquire three fold of the same treatment. It wasn’t like it was forced or obligated, instead it was the willingness. And it almost identical (in its very own way) what he predicted tonight, to what had happened six months back during the King’s funeral - it was unexpected frankly speaking.

The eldest Royal brother was still out of the country when the sad news brought back shattered crown prince in dry tears and hunched shoulders, like the world was sitting heavily on it. The crown prince was collected enough throughout the whole ordeal to give appreciation to the many people who came for the burial. Shortly after two days, the eldest prince was seen leaving the country. And there wasn’t any article highlighted how inappropriate of the crown prince to leave the throne unattended. It was rather the citizens understood why such act happened because they were simply leaving that as that. No gossip, no rumor, no nothing.

(Then it dawned on Jongdae perhaps he would act the same way if his father died during the time he wasn’t there to accompany him and held him close during the time he struggled to feel better but couldn’t)

Swarmed reporters were all crowding in front of the main gate, waiting to be invited into the open paved area of the palace. It was scheduled for live streaming as the citizens were kind of expecting the crown prince to address something – the first time after the funeral - whatever that was; it was supposed to put everyone at ease.

And again, Jongdae dared to say which ever the headline came out the next day no one would deny if Joonmyun’s words weren’t assured enough. The citizens would simply reason out perhaps the crown prince still needed time. Seoul’s people were thoughtful like that.

“These past months are not favorable to any Royal Family members and everyone else. I am sincerely thank you for the endless support and patience you have given. I am very sorry for not occupying the throne still.”

Joonmyun excused himself in the midst of brilliant flashes that were thousand cameras noisily flickered, one after another. The crown prince supposed he could supply his reasoning but he didn’t think disclosing it in front of people that worked for tabloids was a great idea. Plus, it felt personal somehow. Being the respectable figure of his country, he knew every move he made was going to get twisted in some way or another.

Now that he was constantly sought after, since his father wasn’t in the front line anymore he forgotten that he needed his people to believe he wasn’t mourning or grieving – it was a just little bump on his path. The irony was he hadn’t found on how to swerve it just yet.

“I will try to accommodate anything you require of me to my very best.” Joonmyun added in haste, halting short to speak, as abrupt as the reporters behind the camera almost stumbled on top of each other before losing himself into the hallways.

Jongin met him halfway with Kyungsoo stood close behind the younger prince. “Come, we’re about to start.” His young sibling grinned at him. The crown prince wasn’t sure if Jongin hadn’t realized that he had been handling fussing reporters a moment ago.

The Royals were private for every celebration they only invited the important people of the country without actually leaking any information about the event, but Jongin was clung onto his arm like his life depended on it. Joonmyun was sure reporters were deliciously clicking their cameras for the stunning public display.

The enormous main corridor was decorated in white walls with slight grey at the bottom highlighted by the yellow light hung high on the wall as Jongin led Joonmyun to the back of the building. They rounded a fountain before passing through an intersection towards the left.

Joonmyun casted a glance towards Kyungsoo, who diligently following the lead and he was glad to the very highest of celestial being that was, the assistant answered without him saying anything.

“It’s your favorite child of the first cousin – they want you to celebrate it with her.”

“Ah, you mean my niece don’t you, Kyungsoo?”

“I didn’t adopt anyone neither did my twin,” Jongin interrupted, seemingly uncaring that his brother didn’t informed about the event.

Joonmyun shrugged. “I know. It feels like it implies that I have a distant relationship with the child. Yerim is my favorite after all.”

“Sure, did you leave anything at all the night she reached nine?” Jongin pushed the door with his other hand and paused a while, in search for the wonderful child of the night. Let’s be honest Yerim was both their favorite.

“I did,” Joonmyun uncharacteristically whined under his breath. Pulling away his hand from Jongin’s, he patted his young sibling by the upper arm. “Thanks, Jongin.” The crown prince paced towards a small girl who was miraculously alone, seating on a chair.

“Hi, sweetheart,”

Yerim squealed in delight at the sight of Joonmyun as she jumped onto his lap once the prince seated beside her. “I miss you, Joon.”

The prince planted a soft kiss on her hair. “I miss you too, sweetheart. What are you doing here all alone, hmm?”

She was back-facing him, her back rested against the broad chest. “I’m not alone.” She grabbed his big hand. “I’m waiting for someone. He told me to wait here.”

Joonmyun hummed in silence, opting to take in the occurrences of the bright room which hosted hundreds of figure chatting, laughing or just pigging out. That he thought having Yerim with him was some sort of his safety net from dealing with unpleasant business from people present within the enclosed wall. He saw from a corner of his eyes, Jongin was trapped with three elder men discussing nonsense, if the conflicted line on the younger’s forehead was anything to go by.

“Sorry for the wait, princess.” Jongdae caught his words from spilling further just in time as he noticed the eldest Royal brother had his chin on the girl’s head.

“Jongdae,” she screamed happily hopping out of Joonmyun’s lap and ran towards the other prince. “Where did you go?” Curious was well-played by the little girl.

Because Jongdae had a feeling like he was being cornered to answer her innocent question and honestly, he thought he wouldn’t be thinking like that if the crown prince wasn’t there to witness anything remotely childish side of him. Still, he lowered himself to meet the girl’s eye and handed her a well-wrapped box in violet.

“I didn’t get the chance to give you one because I’m still working on it. So, here you go – a present for a beautiful princess.”

She was practically cried joyously over the present, hugging the prince around the neck and kissing him on the cheek before sauntering back to Joonmyun. Gently resting the box onto her lap, Joonmyun watched with keen interest as the girl undid the outer covering delicately. It could have drove Joonmyun to insanity if she took longer than it already was.

“A music box?”

Jongdae was kind of hoping she won’t claim that the gift wasn’t up too liking but the melodic dulcet of her stunned him, “It’s beautiful, Dae. Thank you very much.”

The prince was yet received another hug and couple of kiss on both sides of his cheeks. He was slightly mortified at her showering affection in the middle of the room but happy nonetheless, his face flushed in faint pink. “Thanks for the kisses too,” he teased.

She leaned away slightly, “Sorry for the nickname.”

“It’s fine. Jinri called me that, too.” Plopping on a chair, Jongdae realized he had been standing the whole time she took to unwrapped the gift. “Let’s hear it together, shall we?”

The whole time Jongdae was chatting and laughing with Yerim, the crown prince was trying to beat down his earsplitting heartbeat because who wouldn’t have fallen for the Jongdae’s light mellifluous chuckle. The girl, however, engaged them both with ingenious conversation – some of it was for him and some was for the other.

At some point - much too the both adult’s relief - she ran to her parents, in part to show the new received present but to Joonmyun’s dismay, he wasn’t prepared at all for the sudden alone moment with Jongdae. They went silent, unable to articulate any word to chase the awkward tension rising between them.

“Thanks for the help the other day,” Jongdae started.

“It’s fine. How have you been since then?” Joonmyun tilted his head – it was a mistake because Jongdae’s eyes were staring at him.

“Bearable?” Jongdae chuckled. “I’m healthy if that’s what you’re asking. Yours seems lighter today.”

There was a cloud of confusion in the crown prince’s eyes but he didn’t get to obtain an answer because Jongin was heading towards them with Chanyeol trailing along behind. “No wonder I don’t get to greet you, you’re hiding here with Jongdae.”

Jongdae defended. “I’m not hiding.” He quickly stood and walk to Jongin, whispering. “What’s the matter?”

Jongin took Jongdae by his hand and walked off, leaving Chanyeol with Joonmyun. “Nothing just everyone’s about to leave.”

That it was translated as everyone wanted to see them both together so by the end of the night, everyone got to have a glimpse of Jongdae and Jongin together – it was for the talk (guess the important figures loved gossiping). The younger prince then situated the both of them on a sofa near the entrance joining Minho, who was the youngest brother of the late King’s Siwon and his wife.

The fifth year in university wasn’t that hard - he spent the first three years in Daejeon - given how the prince had always loved to interact with patients occasionally during his shift. He also got to learn new things every day, it was thrilled. Albeit his time was running out short for him to be chatting or greeting everyone in the medical centre because he was too busy running everywhere, he was happy to grace them with a smile.

Following behind the pediatric specialist and two resident physicians rounded off the children ward, Jongdae took in the sight of a group of children far at the right corner as they were laughing while looking at something. It must be interesting, considering that one of the children, who tilted her head and found the doctor was approaching she just grinned before focusing back on her friends. The innocence vibe the ward radiated of was probably the factor why the kids weren’t scampering around at the sight of the doctor.

Dr. Yoo reached over the group. “What are you guys watching?”

“We’re not watching,” a boy closed to Yerim’s age - Jongdae assumed - huffed. He’s wearing a well-knitted beanie.

The same girl from before answered then, “It’s an album photo, Yixing’s family photos.”

“Mind if I look over it too?”

“Yes,” Yixing said curtly as he stood in defiance. The boy studied the grown men in white coat in front of him and glared with determined. Said boy eyed Jongdae far too long, the prince was beginning to squirm under the strong gaze – he was not an easy child the prince mulled over.

“Who are you?”

It came as a shock for the prince as he widened his eyes briefly before a smile bloomed over his features. “I’m Jongdae and I come to visit.” Pulling out something inside the side-pocket of his coat, he extended his palm to the kid. “Here, a treat.”

Yixing was fast to grab the round sparkling wrapper, but the prince was faster as he closed his fingers, hiding them in his hands. “You can have it after your check-up.”

The boy glared again. “Save your silly trick for someone else.”

“Yixing, it’s a not a trick.” A girl said.

“It is, because he threatens me with the silly sparkles.”

Jongdae had his jaw hung at the word the beanie boy chose to address as the candies he brought. He thought he must look like a madman. Lifting the corner of his mouth slightly, Jongdae stated. “I’m saying you need to go through the check-up, then after that I give you one.”

The boy left the circle, “You do that yourself.” Climbing onto the bed, he pulled the blanket over his head.

“Can we have one?” Another girl asked.
Jongdae eyed the small lump on the bed before responding. The prince patted her hair gently, “I’m sorry sweetheart. You won’t get anything if Yixing didn’t.” He added later in much lower voice. “Don’t talk to him about it, okay?”

“Can we talk about Yixing’s baby picture?”

“Or Yixing’s baby brother?”

“Yes, that would do.” Jongdae smiled.

Later that evening Yixing surprised the prince when the boy plopped down beside him on a couch. The other residents were unaffected like this was a normal circumstance where every kid in the ward could actually come to the lounge room unannounced.

“Hi, Yixing. Your baby brother is cute,”

“I know.”

“But you’re cuter.” They praised him.

“Yeah I know that, too.”

Jongdae just smiled the whole time everyone fussing over the kid coaxing him with variation of stories he himself hadn’t had listened during his childhood. He was lost in his thought until he felt a jab on his side.

“I’ve done the check-up.”

Ahhh! Reaching over the pocket, the prince produced the circular wrapper and gave it to the boy. “I give the others their share before I sign out.”

Yixing was fiddling with the wrapper, tugging it here and there. Jongdae had thought maybe the kid would have stormed away once he got the candy but he was still here. The prince was confused.

“Do you want anything else?”

Yixing mumbled, “Why didn’t you ask about it?”

The prince was beyond puzzled. “What?”

“The check-up, you’re giving me the candy without checking if I really did it.” Yixing turned to look at him. “Why would you do that?”

He was panicking in the inside because let’s be frank, he didn’t know what the kid was trying to say to him and he couldn’t understand anything at all. He glanced at the other doctors around the lounge but they just helplessly grinned at him.

“I don’t think you want me to look at your medical check-up,” Jongdae settled.

Yixing stood to his feet then, “You’re free to come next time. Thanks by the way.”

“You do know tomorrow we have an inauguration, don’t you?”

Jongdae lifted his head off from the chart in his hold. Several physicians were gathering in front of the reception desk. He watched the doctors who had pure excitement written all over his face. The prince ought to ask whose inauguration it was but decided to pop the question to the nurse behind the desk. “What happen tomorrow? You won’t come in?”

“The management decides to announce it official. It’s been nine months since this centre had started operating.”

That was probably why equipments in the facility was brand new and screamed expensive all over. Though every personnel was quite exceptional and the amount of patients occupying the medical centre wasn’t less terrifying as the prince had discovered the building could fit in another five thousands in it.

“We aren’t ditching work, Jongdae. Just we might leave earlier than usual. It schedules at three in the afternoon.”

Someone tapped over his shoulder, “The venue is supposed to be in the main lobby though.”

“So you won’t be lonely kid,” Another resident chimed in.

Thus the next day Jongdae was too giddy to notice Yixing wasn’t in his bed as he was too busy noticing the little details over the main entrance. Workers were preoccupied in standing up a huge backdrop and setting up a small stage in front of it – for cutting the ribbon maybe. It wasn’t anything fancy neither it was simplistic. Passersby weren’t exactly looking over it too curious nor did they ignore the construction if greeting them was something to be counted upon.

“I didn’t know you work here.”

Turning his head to his right, Jongdae couldn’t exactly say if he managed to not look so utterly madman with his eyes bulging out from the socket. “I think you’re mistaken. It’s the practical.” Goodness, his voice didn’t betray him!

Joonmyun nodded, looking at the commotion below them. “You’re doing well here, I assume?”

“I am. Thanks for asking.” Jongdae grinned.

They both slipped into comfortable silence - Jongdae had thought he must have been losing his mind yet again - standing over the rail and hanging with someone like his shift was over. But the doctors in Pediatrics miraculously weren’t asking him to do anything, perhaps because of the ceremony.

He was so lost in his train to nowhere he didn’t see a certain young child talking to the eldest Royal brother. “Are you staying here for a long time?”

Joonmyun contemplated, taking in the appearance of the young boy, “I am.”

“Did you go somewhere fun?”

“We can visit it together once you get better.” Joonmyun was fixing a beanie on Yixing’s before the kid slipping away from him, walking towards the man leaned against the rail.

A soft tugging on his white coat pulled Jongdae out from the reverie. “Did you bring the wrapper today?”

Glancing briefly at the elder prince, who had crouched with one knee touched the floor, the prince sadly shook his head. “I’m sorry. It takes a little time to make a new batch.”

Yixing blinked. “I thought you buy it somewhere?”

“Well, yeah. I bring them once it’s ready.”

The disappointment was very clear in the boy’s tone as his head hung low, “I’ll be in the room. Bye, Joon.”

Joonmyun waved, his lips crooked in tiny smile. “I’ll come by after.”

Sometimes Jongdae believed fate was playing with him – creating an opportunity to heal his damaged soul for not being so upright with his life. Yet every time he thought he could retain his broken self from further ruining, someone stepped in. It would have done some wondrous job if the said someone wasn’t the one he needed to put an effort for such impression.

“He’s mad at me, didn’t he?”

“He’s sensitive like that. After sometimes he’ll be fine.” The crown prince rose to his feet, standing again.

“How would you know?” Jongdae whined outright under his breath. “It isn’t like you live with him under the same roof.” When realization dawned upon him Jongdae had hoped genie was existed so he could wind back time and wished he didn’t utter such stupidity. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Joonmyun was actually startled. “What is?”

“Huh?”

“I don’t understand with your sudden apology.”
Stuttering, Jongdae felt his lungs was about to burst. “I-I didn’t mean to put you and Yixing like I’m expecting you to know him better because you guys are living together.” The younger prince was petrified. “I’m really sorry.”

There was a cloud of confound brewing over the crown prince’s eyes. And Jongdae was left with an apprehension that he should say something to clarify further his words.

“I mean … it won’t be necessary to get to know someone without the same roof phrase.” The younger ought to apologize again but he needed the elder prince to be present over his words so he won’t be saying the same thing thrice.

Once Joonmyun clicked in the explanation, he stared at Jongdae. “I am not offended. Stop frowning.” The crown prince added a beat later, “Though you did surprise me with the apology. There isn’t anything wrong with same roof phrase. At some point, Yixing did live with me.” Taking a glimpse over his watch he excused himself. “I need to run, see you around.”

If someone had told him that the medical centre he had been working as part of his practical lesson for over a year was indeed Joonmyun’s, then he was glad he didn’t ask the silly question why-are-you-here to the crown prince. He was sure Jongin or Jinri knew about his practical year though – he did tell them.

And the sudden embarrassment from earlier had left Jongdae so frustrated, he backed away from the corridor rail and hid himself in children’s room. Was he too nervous to form such coherent words? Why Jongin wasn’t flustering him they way the eldest Royal brother did?

“Are you crying?” Yixing nudged the prince on the ribs.

“No, if you stop asking about it.” Jongdae was hiding his face in his arm, head rested on the bed. “Are you mad because I didn’t bring the wrapper?”

“No, if you promise to give me one.”

“I promise,” Jongdae croaked. Lifting his head, the prince tilted sideway to look at the kid. “Have you always known him?”

“Who?”

Jongdae bit the thin wall of his inner cheek, “The man with you from earlier?”

“Joon?” Yixing scrunched his nose cutely. “He found me. I’m not from Seoul. He brought me here once he knew I was ill.” Yixing descended from the bed and innocently dragged him. “Let’s watch Joon together.”

“Chanyeol, you think I could …Joonmyun might throw dagger at us if he knows.” Jongin was resting his head over the other’s chest.

“He won’t. I don’t think he can handle the weapon well.”

“Be serious,” Jongin smacked the lanky before leaning away from the familiar warmth. “He needs to know. I mean he deserves to know.”

Rubbing the slight sore spot, the lanky enquired. “Why?”

“He’s a family.” There was a crazy look in Jongin’s eyes. “I think I’m going to upset him if I don’t tell him. And he’s been disappearing for a whole year. I don’t want him to leave again.”

If Jongin capable of crying he would willingly stream the pearl tears over his cheeks now. He opposed the idea since he knew no amount of crying could have changed what he and Chanyeol had together nor did he want his dearly brother drowning in mad anguish for believing Jongin hadn’t trust him enough to disclose such affair – and it wasn’t an affair anyway.

“If anything, he would probably beat me up like a pulp.” Chanyeol sighed. “I don’t know love, somehow I’m afraid.”

“Maybe we should confront him,”

“And you’re certain?” Shadow of doubt lingered monumentally in Jongin’s eyes and the lanky could see it clearly. “I will whenever you are.” Chanyeol then raised his abdomen as he touched the prince’s wrist gently as if it burned before claiming the latter’s lips, kissing him softly and senseless. “I am always going to be with you, no matter what.”

::xxxxx::

Joonmyun had been staying in his home country for a month now and he was still counting since it was a bit surreal for the crown prince to come to his country without travelling back to a place he had left Kyungsoo. He never knew either if his decision to come back was the wisest, whether it was really safe for him. Was there even a danger awaited upon him?

But a promise was meant not to be broken. Maybe hiring Kyungsoo was indeed a good deed.

On the various occasions he had to attend with his brother, Joonmyun wasn’t aware if he ever put the light fun cologne or if he remembered whether he did pour on himself a spicy exquisite perfume. He grabbed anything that caught his eyes without really minding if those colognes would do badly onto him - well he mostly turned out nice. Kyungsoo would have chopped his head if the crown prince dressed himself that bad.

Thus a question got thrown onto him by his dear brother had Joonmyun caught off guard. “Do you really spend half of the fortune for the cologne, really?”

Quite honestly, Joonmyun couldn’t have form a very appropriate answer sheet. “What makes you say that?”

“I’m not that detailed for a record, but you come out with a dozen of different scents whenever us two going for a function, though today was the same one during your home-coming celebration.” Jongin swirled his wine glass. “I’m not sure what you want to achieve by experimenting those fragrances on you.”

“Nothing,” he simply said for the lack of better reply.

“Whatever, Joon just quit suffocating me with something else next time.” Jongin sipped the wine before continuing. “There won’t be a need for me to say this if we are not practically live with each other.”

That made the crown prince thinking: was changing the perfume scent necessary for whatever reason Baekhyun seemed to be fussed about? Sure it was to keep the fainting on the spot from occurring but really?

After the inauguration ceremony last time he barely encountered the other prince. He knew he did everything out of Baekhyun’s demand because who would have understood Jongdae better than his companion right?

“I told you before you’re going to age faster with your ugly frowns.”

“And I’m saying this again. Geez, thanks.” Joonmyun would have rolled his eyes if he didn’t think it was rude to do so.

Kyungsoo flat out changed the topic. “Have you done writing the draft speech?”

“I’m still working on it,”

“I can come out with thousand words by the time morning comes. You won’t need to stress over yourself.”

Joonmyun wasn’t Joonmyun if he wasn’t befriending with the stubborn trait. “I want it to be sincere.”

Kyungsoo was flabbergasted. “What, you supposed I write something insincere?”

Sometimes Joonmyun’s assistant loved to be over-dramatic, it brought headache to the crown prince. “I know you can twist every annoyed word to heartfelt one but for once, please just let me do this by myself. I’ll ask help if I need one.”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo replied sharply. “I want to look at it before the festivity begins tomorrow evening.” The young assistant stepped out from Joonmyun’s chamber.

The crown prince couldn’t be so glad than that – he would have thought he needed to argue till late at night before the assistant sighed in defeat. Birds of a feather flock together, didn’t they? Pinching the bridge of his nose, Joonmyun lazily scanned his handwriting on the paper and when he belatedly realized each word swimming around one another, he let himself fell onto his back.

Who would have imagined he needed to make a decision for the whole country instead of someone else? Did he leisurely take advantage of his father’s position before? Now he wished Kyungsoo didn’t left him alone in the confine of his wonderful chamber. The insecurities within him threatened to shallow him whole.

Standing to his feet, Joonmyun seized his robe on the hanger before slipping it over his shoulders. He paced out to distract himself from further drowning. His eyes caught the giggling Yerim with her mother on a gazebo, the corner of his mouth twitched with happiness.

“What is she doing?” He asked Sooyoung, the child’s mother who happened to be his cousin.

Sooyoung had her both eyes crinkled like the crescent moon, laughing. “She learned the steps in school and she wanted to show how brilliant she is.”

“Oh, she is brilliant.”

Joonmyun was surprise at the familiar tone – since when Jongdae had been here? He hadn’t had the chance to explore his thought because the little girl cutely bounced her hips, shuffling her feet in an attempt to walk backwards but she was quite unsuccessful. Despite that, she continued bouncing, singing one or two songs of intangible lyrics, words were messing up.

The crown prince burst out in laughter when she blew him a flying kiss, along with a wink. She looked absolutely adorable with her black hair curling around the edge and he found himself responding to her approach as he blew a kiss in the same manner. He grinned widely when she exaggeratingly captured his flying kiss with her hand and rest it on her chest.

There must be some sort of amazement, for the child’s mother threw her hands around Joonmyun’s as a tear dropped down onto his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re coming back, Joon.”

“Me, too.” For a moment there he was relieved because he did glad he was coming back, almost as if he was brimming with satisfaction. He would have exploded with fireworks for everyone to see how happy he was.

Unknowingly, the pleasant warmth set him in tears as she tightened the grip around him, enveloping him in warm hug. He had been carving it since forever and couldn’t contain himself from not reveling in the affection. Albeit he was very aware Yerim and the other prince were watching his mental breakdown, he continued crying in her embrace.

Somehow he wished time stood still and let him wept like a little child seeking for a comfort. He wanted to be weak just this once.

The festivity was held for a commemoration of the Seoul’s Independence Day which also embarked of Joonmyun’s journey as the better ruler. It wasn’t realistic if everyone was supporting him whole-heartedly, but he would be such an insolent son for not recognize his purpose. The citizens had been patient enough to deserve such reward - though it wasn’t anything fancy with the throne in succession.

After the speech, Joonmyun vanished to the garden. He intended to charge his energy before going out to socialize and needed some time to collect his thought. His should be calm enough before venturing out with people. Occupying on a bench at the corner of the garden, he sat down comfortably with his both hands behind his head. He closed his eyes and tried to relax.

“May I?”

Joonmyun was ignorant to that because he still drained and wouldn’t want to come out rude if he declined the offer. A moment later, someone was sitting beside him and in that instant he believed it was the same person who had witnessed his breakdown yesterday. He was supposed to turn stiff like a stone or something, but his body having none of that as he continued sitting there instead of bolting.

“There’s no magnolia here.”

Yeah he realized that – the reason why he weird out at the sight of white magnolia back then in Daejeon’s as Seoul’s garden filled with forsythia instead. Fluttering his eyes open, Joonmyun was dazzled by the yellow light that breaking through the young prince’s soft hair. Jongdae hadn’t leaned far back against the bench rather he was sitting on the edge. One flick could have made him fall.

“Are you okay?”

“Thanks for responding, goodness.”

“You’ll keep on speaking even when I’m not.”

“Because you’re listening. There’s no way you could have fell asleep in here.”

Joonmyun still had his hand at the back of his head as he smirked. “Did you decide to be informal with me?”

But the other prince refused to play banter with him. Joonmyun had thought maybe the question was a bit sensitive. Well he could say the same on himself – weirdly enough he didn’t find himself trying to match up on the younger’s level. He couldn’t be bothered at all whether if he came out unrestrained because he was so tired living out people’s expectation. It was magical how a day of breakdown had contributed to that easiness.

Attentively observing the person beside him, Joonmyun indulged in the ethereal appearance of the younger. Dark blue tux framed over the shoulders and one of the cufflink was unfastened, the crown prince wondered if the other felt suffocated somehow. Straightening his back, he tried to move closer to the younger but Jongdae’s voice halted him.

“Can you give me your hand?” Thankfully goodness Joonmyun seemed to be out of his stupor because he swore he was possessed when he thought of moving closer. He offered his hand instinctively.

He would have linked his fingers with the other but he was conscious enough to the feel of Jongdae’s gripping his hand a bit too hard. Out of worry, he inched himself forward to look at the younger in the face, but it seemed Jongdae was startled when the younger leaned sideways. He was panicked when he heard the rough breathing of the other.

“Are you sure, you’re okay?”

“I-I m-might,” Jongdae croaked, his voice was hoarse. “Just some flashes from my past.” The young prince groaned when another image blurred his eyes, numbing his senses.

The crown prince worriedly studied the other from his peripheral vision. Jongdae wasn’t letting him to look at his anytime soon, he realized. “Breathe in slowly then,” he tried.

“I-I think these … couple weeks, I had been recalling bit by bit of something I didn’t have a clue about. It’s s-strange.” Swallowing a mouthful of air, the young prince gripped his other hand on the edge of the bench. A part of him was relief there was someone with him now. Another part of him was conflicted. “Sorry for babbling, really sorry.” He threw them rapidly.

There wasn’t a need to continue conversation like how they both hadn’t met in the garden, and Jongdae might not want someone to fuss over him if he thought he could have handled it just fine. Joonmyun imagined he should remain unresponsive if the younger ever tried to talk again but he couldn’t just help himself.

“Joonmyun,” he said.

“Huh?”

“My name, don’t avoid saying it. You’ve been doing that for a while.” Joonmyun muttered, embarrassed for lashing out but he was too irritated to let it happened. Then he asked. “Are you feeling any better now? I can – “

“Joonmyun!”

The crown prince swallowed his word in time he caught the deadly glare of his sister. There were no words aligning at the back of his mind on how he should defend himself if she questioned why he hid himself in the garden. Neither he knew how not to cower in her intense gaze when she tried to beat him with imaginary blows.

“You shouldn’t left without a trace. What are you – “ She noticed her brother had his hand in Jongdae’s. She ran over to reach them before crouching herself down to look at the Jongdae. “Dae, are you okay?”

The younger prince chuckled lightly, his voice was too low. “That’s the third.”

“I call Baekhyun, stay here.”

Just when she was about to stand up, Jongdae snatched onto her wrist, “Don’t, j-just stay. I’ll g-get better … s-stay here.”

She obeyed him, lowering her stance to the earlier posture and unbuttoning his one button-tux and the first two button of his dress shirt. She reached over the hand on her wrist and brought them over towards Joonmyun’s chest once she asked her brother to move closer.

“Breathe just like him, slowly. Breathe in slowly.” She kept on talking, “You’re doing great, keep doing that. Breathe in and out slowly.”

It took ages for Jongdae to recover. He was exhausted by the time his breath had returned to normal. He felt his body was turning jelly and let himself collapsed on the crown prince’s side, struggling to open his eyes.

“You’re seemed different tonight.” He weakly pointed towards her. She wore an elegant emerald long dress. It matched with the fine necklace draped over her chest, twinkling in the dimness of the garden.

“I am?”

“Yeah, you look like a princess. You even braided your hair. You look feminine.”

Joonmyun widened his eyes at his sister and that was the first time he watched her squirming uncomfortably – he knew it wasn’t because of his demanding gaze. She fidgeted restlessly as she paced back and fro in front of them.

“I am a princess,” she declared later, when silence befell onto them like a sharp cold ice.

“Wha – “

“She’s my sister, Jongin’s fraternal twin.”

Jongdae almost thrown himself onto the ground at the shocking news he heard though he sagged backwards when his head was spinning fast like a moving wheel. What a great time for secrets!

Jinri winced in apology. “I’m sorry. I’ll get Baekhyun for you.” She stormed out too fast for Joonmyun’s eyes to catch.

“She really is, huh?” Jongdae unconsciously snuggled to Joonmyun’s. He should let the fact sink in later when his mind wasn’t too muddled to understand anything. “I survive on your overwhelmed perfume.” Miracle!

Baekhyun was standing with his back facing Jongdae, looking so forlornly over the window. Jongin was out – probably attending something he wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe Jongin had told him last night, but he was too drained to remember it. That beside a point – Baekhyun in his chamber was meant he got to have some scolding to do.

“What is wrong?”

“Hmm,” The companion swirled himself around, momentarily noticed the prince had been awake for a while. “Nothing,” he simply said.

Jongdae was still lying on the bed. “That nothing, Baekhyun isn’t nothing. Is it me?”

“No, of course not.”

Baekhyun was still leaned against the window frame. “Then what is it?” A heavy sigh escaped Jongdae’s, very uncharacteristic.

“Did you remember anything?”

“Hmm … I almost get killed once, did I?”

“And…?”

“… I survive?” Jongdae tilted his head, “Is there more should I know about?”

Baekhyun opened his mouth but he closed them a moment after. He repeated the same movement twice before deciding. “It is, but please, try not forcing on it.” Walking over to the lump on the bed, he claimed. “You think, I don’t know. You’re purposely blacking out yourself.”

“I didn’t,” Jongdae defended. “I didn’t black out. I’m just exhausted.”

“Those aren’t the same thing? Please, knock some sense, prince.”

The prince huffed, grabbing the blanket tighter. “I’m dying to know, okay. It comes like a missing puzzle pieces and I want to know the whole picture.” He looked at his companion. “Why can’t I?”

“The whole picture is ugly,”

Struggling to sit on the bed, the prince stubbornly demanded. “Describe ugly.”

Challenge was supposed to be treated like a speck of dust, but Baekhyun’s restriction hold was thinning. “Fine, ugly is a lifeless you were when there was no radiance in your eyes. Ugly is when your red blood is leaking like the water pipe, trickled all over your legs, and smeared all over your clothes and everyone else’s. You don’t smell the sticky copper because your heart once stopped functioning. It took a horrible fifteen minutes to bring you back to life! You don’t know how many nights I cried over that, wishing you don’t remember the sordid details like I did.”

Panting hard, Baekhyun forced himself to remain calm. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to look at Jongdae whether the prince was actually shocked at the gory points he had spilled out. He stormed himself out from the chamber as tears gathered in his lower lids.

A supposedly normal week turned to a horrendous one due to the fight he and Baekhyun had, and also the appalling revelation of Jinri he once thought was a companion like Baekhyun’s. Certainly that wasn’t a pretty thought to think of now he knew she was the princess. Frankly, Jongdae had thought reality wouldn’t need to be so harsh on him – he needed to learn some subtle cues from now on.

“I’m not coming to the Parks’ new branch launching.” Reaching over to fix Jongin’s collar, the prince said. “Give him my regards.”

“You are sending me straight out to flirt.”

“Aren’t you already?”

Jongin smiled coyly. “That is so blunt of you to say. Aren’t you bossy tonight?”

“Get going, Jongin. I’m not in the mood.”

The younger prince was painfully aware the dispute Jongdae had with his companion. “Baekhyun will come around I’m sure. He didn’t mean to put you through this.”

Jongdae could only nodded in acknowledgement. Well he hoped Baekhyun stopped treating him like he wasn’t in the room but that was not how he wanted them to simply mend things. He needed the companion to know he was sorry for bringing up the infernal nightmare and he that wasn’t exactly being considerate when he acted so hardheaded.

“I see you later, Jongdae. Thanks.” Jongin enveloped the other prince before releasing him, blowing a kiss in between.

The prince grinned, obviously entertained at the other’s effort.

Jongin asked Joonmyun once they situated themselves in the backseat. “Have you always known Kyungsoo, Joon?”

“No, he’s conveniently there when I needed someone.”

“Does he know about your pet name then?”

If Joonmyun had sipped any liquid, his brother would be at the receiving end because he was choking. His throat burned, “That’s not a pet name.”

Jongin mused. “Neither you’re dismissing you did have another name that to me it is a pet name.” Angling his head to look better at his brother, the younger enquired. “Did you meet Baekhyun before?”

“Yeah, back then.”

“How far is back then?”

“Why with the sudden interest?” Joonmyun barked, suddenly annoyed.

The younger took time to respond. “I’m realizing - I don’t know many things you choose not to tell me.”

Joonmyun was taken aback, “It’s because I want to keep it that way.”

“Why?”

“Honestly Jongin? What is this? A bonding talk?”

“Why not?”

Exasperated, Joonmyun felt his air passage was closing on him. “You won’t be able to change a thing if it never concerns you.”

“How would you know?” Jongin challenged. “Give me an example and then I admit it.”

Joonmyun turned his head to the window, muttering. He really needed an air to breathe, “I let you know if I find one.”

The whole event was splendidly smooth yet the elder prince wasn’t able to concentrate at all on the flow, whether Chanyeol had given the speeches yet or not. People were socializing with plates or wine in their hands so he thought he should be doing the same thing. Grabbing a plate, he sliced off a small portion of ten-inch apple pie and took one pink cupcake of equally pink topping.

Joonmyun would have guessed on the possibility of pink was Chanyeol’s favorite color or that the heir didn’t know anything about the food list the event might be serving. And of course the crown prince wasn’t in the slightest curious because he was backtracking his conversation with his younger brother.

Why everyone had changed so drastically? Or did they have always behaved like this before? Jongin was confusing him, something he never thought the younger could able to.

Despite his brain was hay-wired, his eyes unceremoniously caught a sight of Jongin’s talking with Chanyeol, somewhere at the far back of the room. It was dimmed enough not to spot anything but a hand rested on Jongin’s shoulder before it travelled up to Jongin’s nape. That somehow surprised the elder prince because his eyes were bulging out. Did that gesture seemed friendly? His racing heartbeat was too wild for him to tame before deciding to flee himself off from the scene.

The ride to their residence was smothering with too much oxygen to inhale. Joonmyun had hoped his brain wasn’t able to think straight so he won’t jump into silly conclusion and jeopardize his relationship with the younger. Apparently Jongin managed to slip into the elder’s chamber, which was located across from his, once they both stepped out from the car.

“Did you ever find one – the example?”

“No,” The elder prince rasped. He was unable to conjure anything after the little incident.

“So then I can always know why you concealed anything you rather keep it secret, don’t I?”

“Not now, Jongin.”

“When then?”

“I’m not feeling good right now,” Joonmyun unfastened his tux, trying to shoo away his brother.

Jongin simply having none of it as he stayed rooted. “Did you see anything earlier?”

“No,” Dismissively, Joonmyun replied. Until he realized Jongin knew he had been watching him, them. Beads of sweat formed in trepidation. “What did you want me to see?”

“You tell me what you see,” The younger was done playing because if he hadn’t tricked his brother, he wouldn’t be able to come up with another lie or a better confrontation to confess. He had wanted Joonmyun to understand this wasn’t a phase, or whatever the elder could reason it out to be.

He was present during the whole exchange of Jinri helping Jongdae to breathe and ever since then he had been wondering as to why Joonmyun hadn’t fight to have what he wanted to have. Goodness he saw something the moment Jongdae’s hand intertwined with Joonmyun’s in the study room back then.

“You’re chatting with Chanyeol like the best bud you two are.” Joonmyun smiled wryly.

“Aren’t we?” Jongin studied his older brother, intensely bored a hole over the other’s eyes. “How about you tell me how inappropriate of me to be touching someone else when I’m a married man?”

“You acknowledge the mistake then … it isn’t a need to tell you.”

“For once, Joon. Stop faking it! Why would you do this to yourself?” Jongin hollered.

“Do what?”

“Goodness, where is your brain? Admit it, I’ve been cheating behind Jongdae’s back. There won’t be a need to defend me, alright. I’ve been doing this for as far as the marriage has been going on.”

Joonmyun wasn’t bewildered anymore because he’s been outright terrified before - during their journey back to the residence - but the elder prince was sure Jongin wanted to say something else, about Jongdae.

“You have taken a liking on him. Why wouldn’t you say anything?”

“To whom?”

“I don’t know, Joonmyun.” Jongin had tears glistened in his eyes. “Honestly, I don’t know. You have been distancing yourself a long one year, why didn’t you say anything if it hurts you? Why won’t you let me know you’ve been suffering all this time?” The younger’s voice broke. “I could have done something.”

“What?” Joonmyun was shattering in hopelessness.

“I would have called off the wedding!” Jongin hysterically sobbed. “You think I wanted this?”

“You couldn’t anyway. He has set himself to do just that.”

“He? Father?” Tears streamed down Jongin’s cheek, his voice shook. “Why you addressed father as he, Joonmyun? Why you referred him as he?”

Dropping his head low, Joonmyun whispered as his voice wavered. “I don’t know, Jongin. I’m sorry.”

The younger sprang to hug his brother as they both drenched themselves in longing desperation. “You could have easily told me if you dislike me married to him. Then I will persuade father or I could have starved myself so father would listen to me. You deserve him as much as you deserve to have everything else. You didn’t need to feel indebted. Jinri would chop your head off.”

Jongin babbled some more, “Just why you do this to yourself? You think we didn’t love you? The least we could ask is you to find your happiness in a way we couldn’t give you properly.”

Joonmyun couldn’t have said anything because he thought he would lash everything out in the open though he desperately wanted to. Yet, at the same it was his inner demon who wanted him to free himself from the agony, the one who gladly torment anyone with venom he knew he was capable of. It wouldn’t change the fact that Jongin was his brother, blood or not – it was impossible to inflict pain without him experiencing the same wound.

Let’s say now Jongin had known the key to his own happiness and that he wasn’t less giddy about it, instead he was beyond the cloud nine. And happiness was a property one should share with the beloved person of one’s life. Joonmyun noticed how his younger was eager on patching his rough route with Jongdae. The crown prince - now he had the title king in front of his name, it was very awkward to hear people addressed him as such - was sure Jongdae felt something peculiar in Jongin’s behavior, too.

One time it happened, the younger persuaded Jongdae to attend a function with Joonmyun and it was flat out inconvenient as they were having no words to say to each other during the ride. If anything, the elder prince had thought that Jongin should have given up upon the unsuccessful plan. But the next thing the younger sibling had asked of him was pure unbelievable.

“Are you insane?”

“I can still tell human has two eyes, so nope I’m sane.”

“Then why are we doing this? It won’t work,” Joonmyun countered.

“Why do you always sound confident every time you think things won’t work? You haven’t done it yet.” Jongin snapped in annoyance. “Remember, you owe me an example.”

Blowing out his exasperation, Joonmyun enquired. “Does everyone agree?”

“Yes, so we’ll meet here during lunch tomorrow. Bye, Joon.” The young prince walked off the hallways and disappeared in a corner.

It wasn’t overdrawing when Joonmyun saw how confounded Jongdae was, seeing him at the six-post gazebo the next day. The crown prince had inkling Jongin hadn’t tell Jongdae about him coming along because every time Jongdae tried to salvage the perfect embody of their marriage, Jongin dared to touch Chanyeol some more. There was a point where Jongin had rested his hand on Chanyeol’s thigh far too long that both Joonmyun and Jongdae awkwardly averting their eyes.

“We’ll be leaving. Enjoy yourself gentlemen.” Jongin dragged the lanky unceremoniously.

Jongdae wasn’t in the right mind to say anything for a defense – goodness he felt like he was waiting for a death penalty to be inflicted upon him. His life had become so much like a soap-opera these days.

“Don’t feel bad. Jongin had told me, couple of nights ago.”

Lifted his head, Jongdae stopped playing his chopsticks all together. The younger prince looked at the elder. “Is that okay with you?”

“I’m absolutely fine with it.”Joonmyun mulled, reaching over a fruit. “I think every Royal member has it figures out, one way or another.”

The younger was floored. How was that even possible – they were all letting them played like mouse and cat and yet no one had anything to say despite it was very obvious the marriage was staged? Goodness!

“Does it thrilling? They’ve been known for a year.” Jongdae closed his eyes, frustrated. “Here I thought I have an excellent skill for acting.”

Shrugging, Joonmyun responded. “They have always interested to someone new in the family. They probably have seen you aren’t that good in it from the first day. If Jongin hasn’t said anything to oppose to that, why anyone would?”

“Thank goodness you aren’t here the whole time I’m sharpening my skill. That would be embarrassing.” Jongdae retorted.

“Leverage on you is the downfall of mine.”

Jongdae quirked one of his eyebrows, “Should I stop acting then?”

The elder prince hadn’t known whether Jongdae was referring it literally or metaphorically. “Suit yourself. Just mind the public I guess.”

“Right, the public.” Jongdae pick up his chopsticks again, eyeing the mouth-watering on the table. “Shall we finish them all?”

Jinri the princess, who Jongdae had been fooling around with occasionally, wasn’t a companion he once thought. That Jinri the princess, dressed so gracefully had stepped into his chamber with a look resembled a sad puppy, pouting even. If it wasn’t the fascination on his eyes then the fazed look on his face must an indication of how he had himself enchanted.

“Did changing your hair short supposed to make you look friendlier, princess?”

“Oh, Jongdae stop with the name-calling.” She whined.

“Why? You are a princess, don’t you?”

“Fine, suit yourself. I deserve it anyway.” Jinri plopped down beside Jongdae. “Please, I’m sorry. Don’t be mad at me anymore.”

The prince simply stated as his eyes were on his thick book. “You’ve been forgiven. But I’m going to call you princess, love or hate it.” Jinri slumped in loss, couldn’t have said anything. “You do realize I look like a madman all this time?”

“No, you’re not. Everyone has been smiling since you’re coming here. Even after the burial. We haven’t lost the tiny part of our soul because you have saved them. All of it.”

Jongdae was quite surprised at that. He was supposed to reprimand the princess because how dared she tricked him like that and what was her purpose of such, yet the sudden topic was throwing him off balance. “How?”

“Your presence, maybe?” Jinri leaned closer to Jongdae’s book. “What are you reading, anyway?”

“Medicine,” Jongdae replied curtly before asking, “Why wouldn’t you say anything if Jongin won’t?”

Jinri turned herself to look at Jongdae. She watched him closely. “Mutual respect … yeah that must be it. The same respect why we won’t force Joonmyun for the throne.” Leaning away slightly she rose to her feet, pacing around the room as she tried to blink the unshed tears. “Want to hear something?”

It was a heartfelt story of how Joonmyun wasn’t her elder brother by blood - that the late King Siwon only had the twins after five years trying. Grateful for such bestowment the king and his queen decided to adopt an orphan a year after. The four-year old boy led a prosperous life for a while: comfortable, loving and flourishing. Three years later the queen fell ill, bed-ridden and couldn’t walk without a support. Gradually, she wasn’t able to say anything nor did she could open her eyes for a long period.

“She passed away while Joon was being officially announced for the throne should any time anything happened to the King.” Jinri was sobbing, “I know he feel bad about it, that he went through the same thing again this year. I couldn’t have told him how sorry I am … I couldn’t have known how much he has been suffering all this time.”

She continued as her frame rocked in shudder. “Half of patients in the medical centre, they are all orphans or people in need. He cured himself through them because we couldn’t provide him one – because he knew he needed to be strong for us to move on.”

That she knew Joonmyun wasn’t doing it out of obligation or guilt, but because he had too many scars for people to see. That he wouldn’t want the same thing happened to someone he loved.

“In a way, you did save us. When Joon knew you would do a good job as much as he could or even more.” She still in tears but she spoke so much Jongdae had begun to doubt if she wasn’t just sad. “Maybe you should heal yours together with him.”

Was Jinri suggesting he had scars like Joonmyun’s? Jongdae had pondered about it every so often because the only relation he could have come up with was that their mother had died early. His story wasn’t that tragic anyway, just he couldn’t send her away because he was instructed to stay at the hospital. His brother accompanied him straight after the funeral until the day he was released. He was still able to play with her, talk to her and laugh with her. She just collapsed one day and he was too panic to shout for help.

The prince resolved his scar wasn’t anything that big – Joonmyun was.

That the over-bearing sensation at the back of his mind had somehow turned Jongin to some sort of an angel in disguised, as Jongin had helped him find a closure – an inalterable decision he found himself in relief, tears pouring down his face by the end of the day.

“Did you still remember what I said on the gazebo back in Daejeon?”

Jongdae cried, “It’s a year ago and I have a short-term memory.”

Jongin wistfully continued, smiling softly at the other. “I asked if you were okay with us getting married because I don’t want you to feel obligated to the commitment.”

“I don’t feel obligated,” Jongdae argued.

“I know, but you weren’t exactly content with the arrangement either.” The fazed look on Jongdae’s and the many things the other could have rebutted, had Jongin brought his hand to rest over Jongdae’s. “I mean this should never be your happiness. I’m not allowing it.”

Jongdae laughed dryly, confused. “What are you doing, Jongin?” He looked at Jongin’s hand, which was at the top of his own before Jongdae squeezed over it lightly.

“If I’d give you a choice, would you take it?” Jongin suddenly asked. The moon was spilling its beauty over the small yard in front of their chamber.

Jongdae was in utter confusion for it was a rare sight of the younger prince appearing to be earnest, so serious and businesslike. He replied unintelligently, uncomprehending with the sudden topic. “Huh?”

There was a pause stretching all over the chamber before Jongin spoke again. “I want to give you options.” The younger turned to face Jongdae properly, “But if you aren’t able to choose which one, I’ll decide for you.”

“O-Okay.”

“There’s only two.”

Jongdae was baffled. “... I should ask what the options are?”

Jongin though surprised at the question, he nodded. “You should.”

“Why won’t you just decide for me?”

It was expected that Jongdae would trust any decision the younger had chose from. Thus Jongin contemplated, “Don’t you want to know what those are?” His eyes searched all over the other.

“… I need to?” Jongdae’s eyes slightly widened. All his life, he never knew he had a chance to choose. He had always seen which path he needed to travel based on what life had unfolded upon him.

“Jongdae, listen. I think we both need to stop.”

“Sure, fine by me. I mean, we drop the act in from of your family relatives. Yeah sure,” He found himself wasn’t as nervous as opposed to the earlier. He was happy that he won’t need to be faking everything because he grew sick of it.

“That isn’t what I meant.” Jongin continued, “By the end of this month, you’ll be done with academic life. Thus I’m presenting choices which, one I’ll terminate the marriage and letting you free. Either that … or you’re going to decide that you have had enough and you want to do what you want to now, so you would return to your home country and live there happily.” Jongin looked at Jongdae straight in the eyes, his were glistening. “So which one?”

Though Jongdae wasn’t faring better as drop by drop streamed slowly over his cheeks to his chin – was this really happening? His face was dripping wet with endless tears pouring down when he whispered. “I’ll let you decide.”

No amount of appreciation could he harbor to the younger prince as his body had weakened. He fell down to the wooden floor. It was too surreal to think that he finally felt like he was freed from the heavy metallic unrestrained chain as Jongin had helped him disposed it away to the depth of the Earth. He probably should thank the younger prince for doing this for him, for asking him when he wasn’t sure if he ever had the courage to.

“I’ll let Baekhyun accompany you tonight. Thanks again, Jongdae.”

Warm hands enclosed him in a soft hug soon after, tugging him closer as Baekhyun murmured nothing because the companion was soaking with tears, too. The elder man fumbled with his word, “I’m sorry for the useless fight before.”

Real goodbye wasn’t cheesy as Jongdae once had thought. It took so much energy to not shed tears over and over again. And certainly a day wasn’t enough to properly bid farewell to people he might not see again. He cried for two nights consecutively after Jongin had decided a choice for him. He wasn’t even cared if his eye bags were that huge because his desperation wasn’t letting him to settle down without crying till the very last drop.

Perhaps it was a good thing though, as he spent his time hanging out with people who he grew close over a year and several months he lived in Seoul. He found himself leaving a memory of him smiling. Minseok gifted him a batch of round wrapper readily to be distributed to the children in medical centre and the cook had made a delicious meal for everyone.

“Thanks for the advice, really.” Minseok smiled thoughtfully. “He’s been thinking about it a lot.”

Luhan came in after a short while, trailing his hand over the cook’s waist. “So Jongdae live well. Come visit us again.”

“I will if I have the chances.”

Yixing was practically bawling though the boy wouldn’t accept the fact that he shed tears. “My eyes just hurt.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come with you for your check-up.”

“Then maybe you should wait.”

Jongdae smiled regretfully. “I’m sorry, dear.” Handing a music box to the boy, the prince said. “I give you this as an encouragement, so you’ll get better. Then next time, there won’t be a need for the medical check-up. Okay?”

“O-Okay,” Yixing replied, his voice hoarse.

“Promise me, you will be strong.”

Yixing stared at the prince with tears spilling all over his small face, his nose reddened. “Promise me, you will come to visit.”

“I might, later. But that’s not a promise. I don’t want to break them.”

“I’ll come with Joon after I get better.” Yixing closed the distance as he flung his tiny hands around Jongdae’s and the prince soothed the crying boy in his arm.

“Then, I’ll wait.”

“Honestly, Jongdae. I thought that maybe you would put a fight about the arrangement. Or maybe do something else just for a protest.”

Jongin was sitting on a bench, beside him was Chanyeol. Jongdae had come to the garden for a walk earlier before the couple relatively ruined his peace.

“What would you think I would do anyway? I carried my family’s name, you know.”

“Goodness, this is the precise reason you should be rejecting me in the first place. I won’t be able to tolerate with people like you and Joon – so righteous.”

Chanyeol laughed. “Anyway thanks for considering me for non-righteous.”

Jongin snorted, “I would have died early if you live that way, dear.”

Jongdae ignored the playful banter of the two before he caught a sight of Jinri standing over the garden entrance, fidgeting. He was staring at her too long he guessed, because he heard Jongin excused both himself and Chanyeol.

“We’re going first. Have a safe travel tomorrow.” Jongin hugged him for a brief moment before leaning away and disappearing.

Jinri exchanged a glance with her twin as she paced towards him. She played mindlessly over the hem of her blouse. “I hope your stay here is worthwhile.”

“Well, I make best moments here with wonderful people like you.” Every single one of them was precious and treasured. “Jinri, you are a brilliant princess. Everyone in this residence loves you dearly as much you love them. Tell them that.”

“I will,” she whispered as she stormed towards him, hugging him by the waist and hiding her wet face on his shoulder.

Kyungsoo wasn’t less surprised to see Jongdae came over to his chamber after dining. Hence the prince came straight to the point.

“I admit seeing you for the last time is far bearable.”

The assistant didn’t say anything, not that the prince was expecting of that. Kyungsoo was a man with few words – he probably talked thousand words with Joonmyun.

“And I can’t give this on my own.” Jongdae placed a folding note on the table at the centre of the chamber. “Thanks, Kyungsoo.”

Turning himself around, the prince set himself to step out from the chamber. However, Kyungsoo’s word had him stopped up short. He listened in with his back faced the assistant and once Kyungsoo done, he moved his feet, striding away from the chamber.

“It’s not directly from him but I know he have wanted you to stop having the nightmare.”

Memories that can’t be erased
Will remained deep in the heart
For you can’t change
Nor you can hold yourself from it
Share those with a soul
That might ease the healing

()()()()()()

The market was deafeningly merry as folks around the neighborhood crowded in, searching for the best ingredient or fresh products for the meals. It was refreshing to hear the white indistinct noise resounded after the journey to the waterfall was all tranquil as nature was the only essential that followed him along the path. He had been to the market since yesterday in search for something to eat and today was a decision he made to familiarize himself with the retail market.

Joonmyun was talking to a retail merchant, bargained for beautiful dress shirt despite he had half of his fortune with him. He had teased the merchant to low the price and the other was flustered to keep his voice calm – the prince inwardly laughed.

“Sorry for the fuss. I get one with the original price.” As he rummaged through his wallet, the corner of his eyes caught a boy sagged against the pillar near the merchant’s stall; sweats covered the other’s temple. With a soft smile, Joonmyun handed the currency. “Keep the rest.”

Once he reached over the good, Joonmyun found his feet moved towards the pillar. “Are you okay?” He studied the sound of the boy’s harsh oxygen intake. “I think you need help.” His eyes travelled to where a hand pressed diligently over the left side of the abdomen, blood trickled out as the boy groaned.

Without further delay, Joonmyun tried to heave the boy up, taking the other free hand but the boy refused the help as he retrieved back the limb before struggling to stand to his feet.

“I can help, please.”

The boy slumped back to the ground as the legs couldn’t withstand his weight. The boy panted, and it was a miracle if he survived a minute to fight for his dignity. Joonmyun crouched down, his voice soothing. “Keep pressing it. I’ll find us help.”

It was a great risk when he had the boy at the back because then the boy couldn’t properly stop the bleeding, yet Joonmyun hadn’t had choices because his arm strength wasn’t that strong. The merchant from earlier offered a room in his inn at the sight of red liquid seeped through Joonmyun’s light dress shirt.

“There’s a health care somewhere near?”

“It’s a two hours journey by car.” The merchant replied.

Should Joonmyun perplexed at the news, he enquired something else entirely. “Grab a physician somewhere. Hey boy, don’t fell asleep. Keep pressing the wound.”

The three was nearing to a clearing when they encountered a panicked lad, running almost instantly at them. “Jongdae,” Baekhyun tried to take the boy behind Joonmyun’s back but the prince had a tight grip around his leg. “Are you okay, Chen? Why did your shirt smelled like a blood?”

“He’s injured, I haven’t got the details.” Joonmyun started as he continued walking, “If he’s your friend, goodness, help me.”

It might escape Joonmyun’s but Baekhyun though overwhelmed with anxiety, caught various whispers around them. The companion knew it stemmed from his slipped-up earlier.

“Did you hear the injured lad’s name?”

“It couldn’t be the prince.”

“But the other lad screamed Jongdae.”

They reached the inn and the merchant called, “I’ll find my friend,” before disappearing.

“Search for clothes, we can’t afford anymore blood loss.” Joonmyun slowly lied down the boy with Baekhyun’s help – the injured boy had his eyes closed. As Baekhyun tried to gather clothes around the room, the prince was checking any bruise or wound on the boy’s, only to find nothing. “The vein was pretty ruptured.”

“What is that mean?”

Joonmyun turned his head briefly to look at the lad. “He could survive if we stop the bleeding.” Taking a bundle of clothes on the lad’s hand, he soaked the blood on the boy’s abdomen. “Press this for him, please.”

Joonmyun decided to introduce himself, just for the convenience. “I’m Joonmyun and please refer me as Suho for my convenient sake.”

Baekhyun had frowns on his forehead, “I’m Baekhyun.” The companion decided not to disclose the other’s name. And he was tempting to know whether Joonmyun could actually handle the bleeding.

The merchant came storming in with a friend behind him. “He’s Taekwoon, the unofficial physician but he knew how to treat a bleeding wound just fine.” As the merchant stepped aside, Taekwoon surged to Joonmyun and Baekhyun. “And I’m Hakyeon.”

Opening the herbal aid kit, Taekwoon unconsciously moved Joonmyun to the other side of the bed. The physician took out a thin string of herb while gently pulling away the many layers of clothes on the abdomen despite Baekhyun’s grunt. “This is severe but enough not to kill.”

Taekwoon then rose to his feet, walking towards the pantry and retrieving a pot behind the cupboard. He filled it with water before boiling it on the stove. “I need him to take this,” the physician said.

“But he’s weak,” Baekhyun argued.

“It stops the bleeding. Don’t slip him unconscious.”

Though the minute Taekwoon said that, Joonmyun scrambled back to his previous spot. “Keep pressing it, Baekhyun. Harder.” The prince reached for a pulse of the boy’s wrist then later he confirmed again with the neck vein. “I’m performing CPR,” he said hastily.

Both Hakyeon and Baekhyun had their eyes widened as the prince positioned himself near the boy’s chest and pushed his both hands down on the centre of the boy’s chest several times. Swiftly, he tilted the head slightly backward as he worked in lifting the chin before blowing an air through the boy’s mouth, his fingers pinched the boy’s nose. Joonmyun had repeated the procedure - pumping the chest, blowing oxygen and checking for a rise – for almost ten minutes.

“Any sign yet?” Taekwoon asked calmly from the pantry, while Baekhyun had his heart in his throat.

“I’ll try again in five. Then you can take over if he didn’t recover.”

Joonmyun worked the same course of actions. Fortunately, luck was at the boy’s side as the last two minutes, Baekhyun yelled in relief. “His chest moves.” The prince hunched himself forward, checking the boy’s eyes.

“Good news,” Joonmyun caught himself saying.

Once the water was boiled, Taekwoon soaked the herb plant in the water. Baekhyun was in charge of slipping in the herb tea the first ten minutes. In each interval of fifteen minutes someone else took over but mostly it was Baekhyun because the companion was too distraught to let himself rested.

At midnight, the boy’s on the bed was feverish as his body shivered. “He has fever,”

Taekwoon once again boiled water and made a sorrel tea to reduce the rising temperature. The fever broke at dawn after the boy was knocked out of consciousness twice, the same period Hakyeon’s other friend barged into the room, claiming he found the weapon: two-inch knife.

Initially, Joonmyun thought Baekhyun would handle the issue but as the companion remained silent, the prince took over. Joonmyun had the merchant and his friends turned the weapon to the police once the sun was high on the horizon. It took a gruesome of eight months for the enforcement to take down the criminal. And the prince had Baekhyun swore to his life that he won’t speak of him to anyone and neither did he would regarding the incident.

()()()()()()

“I thought we had you mistaken when we saw you during the wedding.” Hakyeon took a seat across Joonmyun. “But seeing you now - you’re still the same.”

“Except you have a kid now,” Hongbin whistled.

Taekwoon and Kyungsoo both entertained Yixing at the pantry, who refused to eat the cold noodle only if the assistant fed it on him. To say Kyungsoo wasn’t less baffled was understatement as Yixing pestered the poor assistant incessantly just because the kid thought it was fun to tease Kyungsoo. And the assistant should have defied the demand but he was too kind-hearted to say no to a mere kid (though technically Yixing wasn’t a kid because he was so sassy).

“Why did you run away though?” Hakyeon tapped his finger on his chin. “You do remember us, don’t you?”

Joonmyun startled, “Of course, I am. I’m just scared, if you might expose me out there.”

“What?” Hakyeon shrieked.

“Yah, why would you think no one in this neighborhood ever speak of you?” Hongbin challenged. “We value secrecy, you know.”

“Right, sorry. My bad,” Joonmyun grinned. “Taekwoon, do you still the unofficial physician?”

“Thanks to Baekhyun, someone sponsored my expense at university. So, I have a license now, like you.”

“I hardly perform any procedure now, duty calls and everything.” Joonmyun shrugged, “Congrats, then.”

Yixing spoke then, “Liar, you perform a surgery on me.”

“You asked and if I don’t, you keep on waiting for someone else.”

“Someone you won’t admit you did miss him,” Kyungsoo muttered under his breath, the same time Yixing yelled.

“Someone that is far nicer that you, Joon.”

The only one who heard Kyungsoo’s was Taekwoon, who spent his time pleasantly amused with the kid’s antic, despite the other two friends laughed their faces off, enjoying that the authoritative Joonmyun couldn’t retort back for a defense.

“Hakyeon, why you don’t tell me – “ Baekhyun fixated his gaze on Joonmyun once he stepped into the room, “You’re the guest, huh?” Tilting his head, the companion saw Kyungsoo was sitting with a little boy. “Goodness, you drag him everywhere.”

Joonmyun was confused as he shot a glance on the merchant.

“They came unannounced today. Then, I guess I should wait you guys here, with them.” Hakyeon sheepishly smiled.

“Brilliant,” Baekhyun snorted.

“Cozy place you pick, Baekhyun.” Jonghyun expressed, his eyes were taking in the interior design of the room, trailing behind him was Jongdae. “Oh, hi Joonmyun.” Then realization hit. Jonghyun turned his head towards his brother so fast, he could hear his joint snapped.

Jongdae, unmoving, just stared back at his brother, “Don’t gawking like the goldfish.” He stood outside the room as everyone furtively glanced between him and the other prince.

Taekwoon unceremoniously declared after none of them moved neither saying anything. He picked on the pieces of bits on Yixing’s plate. “Just start over,”

Joonmyun contemplated, “Would you?”

Jongdae raised both his shoulders in indifferent, “Sure, I guess.” He walked over to the pantry before sandwiching himself between Yixing and Kyungsoo.

Baekhyun was actually whining, “Is that a proposal? Joon, make it romantic. You should be a gentleman!”

“Can we stay here for two weeks more?”

“Do you dislike your country or something?” Jongdae questioned, his head rested on the other’s chest, listening to the nice thumping of Joonmyun’s heartbeat.

“You won’t be back here if we are to stay in Seoul.” Joonmyun traced over Jongdae’s soft hair. “I’m being considerate.”

“Of course, you are.” Jongdae lifted his head and kissed the older prince lightly on the lips. “Thanks, but I am whenever you are.”

“That’s sweet,” Joonmyun deepened the kiss as he traced his finger to Jongdae’s jaw. They both panted when the older prince leaned back. “We think through tomorrow,” he said, securing the blanket across their naked form.

“You know, I’m still don’t remember you back then,”

“Hmm,”

“Do you want me to?” Jongdae trailed his hand gently over Joonmyun’s side.

“Sleep, love. It doesn’t matter.” Joonmyun closed his eyes. “You love me now because you want to. Those are the past.”

It was relatively easy for both of them though it wouldn’t have been: nothing in the world was easy, after all. It was easy considering no such displeasure was directed towards them despite it should, it was easy perceiving disgusting words weren’t about to throw them off balance and it was easy simply because no regards on the past could do them any harm.

Though a journey for a healing wasn’t exceptionally painless, as it brought many memories, and emotions got strewn together all at once – but it was what made things bearable and easy.

A/N: Phantosmia is a medical term for imaginary odor, which also known as ‘phantom smell’. It explains through Joonmyun’s powerful fragrance, another ‘imaginary smell’ (that is the blood) is invading Jongdae’s olfactory bulb thus it leads to fainting (as it triggers the memory of him in excruciating pain).

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My Happy Home Is For You (for k_popped)